The Chronicles Of Chardee

Chapter 4: God's Favorite!

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*Strawberry Shortcake by Melanie Martinez *

About a week after that beautiful day of relaxation and good vibes, the day of the doctor's appointment I anxiously awaited had arrived. It was time to get tested and hopefully cleared because having to tell Jacob if I had anything would actually kill me. I would die, so "God if you can hear me, please be on my side today" was a necessary prayer to repeat all the way up to the doctor's office.

Side note: This particular Gyno was soooo nice and professional. She definitely made me feel better about this visit! She didn't even realize how much it helped for real.

And by the grace of God I received NEGATIVE TEST RESULTS FOR ALL STD's. I am truly God's favorite I just know it! I definitely would be steering clear of "hoeing" in that way with men from now on, more than I already was.

After that whole situation was finally concluded, I could finally pour into Jacob with a clean slate and clear conscious. We were having so much fun together!

We spent the entire day in each other's company, and Ofcourse he paid for food and was the sweetest, most considering man I had ever met. Not to mention the intercourse... When I tell y'all I was FIGHTING myself trying not to be D*ckmatised because it was that good! I had to reevaluate my entire sex life. I thought that I wasn't a sexual being and that I might've been asexual; but he really took the time to dig up my desires that laid doormat in my soul for so long because of the type of men I was settling for in the past. I felt like a brand new girl in a whole new world! Just call me Jasmine cause......yeah.

But aside from the physical stuff, we had so much in common. We both were artists, creators, and makers. We both were very transparent in our communication and intentions and with him I always felt safe and secure. It was all very bizarre to me how God could send this specific man at this specific time to rock my world like he does.

Granted, nobody is perfect by any means. Jacob would often tell me about his childhood traumas and explain how he got so many scars in the past from things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. He told me all the places he lived and people who abused him despite his closest family members being oblivious to these traumas until much later. All of it just made me love him more. Knowing only a piece of his traumas and seeing the scars and still seeing the light within him that allows him to love freely and passionately and care for everyone around him even when they couldn't do the same for him. It made me want to hug his inner child, kiss every scar, and hold his hand through every mountain and valley. Ultimately, it made me respect him and dare I say, SEE him.

He also made it known that he saw me too. I told him about my traumas, my current sadness about losing my longest friend to mere envy and disrespect, and my hopes and dreams for the future. I told him about things that still burden my subconscious, things I've healed from, and things I still want to learn. It seemed like he always knew the right things to say and he was always gentle but clear in his words because after all, words were his specialty. I admired him so much already and the more time I spent with him, the more reason I would find to love him.

It was a constant battle though. I didn't want to move too fast or too slow and I am still so scared to mess things up but even when I over think, he was always there to bring me back. Contrary to what he may believe, he is so easy to fall in love with but I'm sure he might say the same thing about me.

A few weeks had passed at this point and Christmas was steadily approaching. December has been a very strange prequel to winter this year. It's been warm with small waves of cold and snow, only for it to melt the next day from rain and warmer temperatures.