✓ TOO REAL TO DENY | SUNGHOON

15 - Undoubtedly & Undeniably

Y/N'S POV

It's been more than 48 hours since I've last had a poper meal and that was before my grandmother and mother visited me. Now when I see food, I can't help but think of how much weight I might gain. The anxiety about my body clings to me like a second skin and I hate it. I hate this feeling of self-loathing, of being controlled by the numbers on a scale and the judgmental comments of others.

Since this morning, all I had was a cup of coffee that I quickly regretted. The bitter taste lingered on my tongue, but it couldn't drown out the growling protests of my empty stomach. Lunch break is already over and after telling Areum that I'm not hungry, I sit at my desk while scrolling through work emails, trying to distract myself from the persistent hunger.

This had been going on for a few days now, and even a cup of water feels like a betrayal to the empty pit in my stomach. I steal glances at the clock, counting the minutes until I can escape the office and return to my apartment where I can read or watch TV without having to confront the relentless thoughts about food and my body.

"Can you check this code for me? I have to meet a deadline," A colleague's voice breaks through my thoughts, and I look up to see him standing at my apartment door, laptop in hand. "Just a quick review. Please print it and leave it on my desk when you're done," he adds before disappearing into his workspace.

I sigh, mechanically going through the code, but my mind is elsewhere, I don't know where. I'm starting to feel dizzy and fatigue seeps into my bones. Just a few hours more and I'll be able to go home and sleep. Just a few more hours and this relentless day will be over.

The clock seems to tick slower than ever as I go through the lines of code, the words almost becoming a blur on the screen. I'm not even sure if I'm catching all the errors or just creating new ones. But I don't have the energy to care. 

Finally, the last page prints, and I gather the documents, feeling the cold surface of the paper against my fingertips while I stand up, legs heavy as if made of lead. After putting the documents on his desk, my phone vibrates and it's a text from Sunghoon. It says he's on the rooftop and he's wondering if I could join him for a while. I text him a simple 'okay' and make my way to the rooftop. The door creaks open, revealing Sunghoon's silhouette as he leans against the railing. When he turns around, his eyes meet mine before he greets me with a warm smile.

"Rough day?" I know I must look like a mess, but I appreciate the concern in his eyes. I nod, and without uttering a word, I settle down beside him, our shoulders lightly brushing against each other. "Wait, are you okay? You look really pale," I let his hand hover over my forehead, checking for any signs of fever, but then I pull away, avoiding the contact.

"I'm just tired." At this point, I'm barely able to string together a coherent sentence. My head is pounding and the world around me is starting to blur at the edges. I swallow a lump and try to focus on Sunghoon's words, on the warmth of his presence that cuts through the fog in my mind, but for a moment, I can only see black. I'm not sure what's happening or why everything suddenly goes dark. The exhaustion and lack of sustenance have caught up with me, causing my body to protest in the most inconvenient of places. All I can hear is Sunghoon's voice as he calls out my name, and I really hope that I don't pass out completely. But I do, and it's too late. 

When I open my eyes again, I find myself lying down on a bed before I quickly sit up. My surroundings slowly come into focus, and I realize that I'm in a hospital room. Sunghoon is sitting in a chair beside the bed, and when he notices that I'm awake, his eyes light up with relief. "Hey, take it easy," He says gently, reaching out to steady me as I sit up.

I blink a few times, trying to shake off the residual dizziness. "What happened?" 

"You fainted," He says softly, as if afraid the words might startle me. "I drove you to the hospital. The doctor said you fainted because of a lack of proper nutrition and exhaustion. You haven't been eating well, have you?"