✓ TOO REAL TO DENY | SUNGHOON

19 - A Moment Painted In Stars

SUNGHOON'S POV

Kissing Y/N wasn't part of the plan. It's an impulsive move that I, myself, didn't see coming. I can feel the warmth of her skin against my fingertips, the way her body responds to my touch. It's all intoxicating, and I'm left with the need to savor the moment. To keep her close and perhaps explore what's blossoming between us beyond our staged relationship. But I know better than to let myself get carried away. This wasn't supposed to be real, and I can't let myself forget that.

I pull away, searching her eyes for any sign of discomfort or regret, but all I find is utter surprise. As if it was the first time she'd been kissed. And the realization makes my stomach drop. It's probably the first time she's been kissed, not just in the context of our fake relationship but ever. "I shouldn't have done that..." I stammer, my mind racing to find the right words to fix this situation. I can't let her think her first kiss was a mistake, and yet, all I do is make it more complicated. "I didn't want to cross-"

"Sunghoon?" The sudden familiar voice makes me swallow a lump before I turn around to find Seoyoung standing a few feet away from us. I wonder when she arrived, and I quickly step away from Y/N, creating a bit of distance between us. Her eyes dart between us and the way she raises her eyebrow makes me uneasy. I don't love her anymore, I don't think I ever loved her the way would love their fiancée, and yet, the remnants of our shared history still linger in the air. "Is this your way of avoiding family events? I thought you wouldn't come, and look at you, bringing her along."

"She's my girlfriend. Of course, I would bring her to family events." The fact that I'm getting worked out at her mentioning Y/N says a lot about what I feel for Y/N, but I push those thoughts aside for now. "I guess when you see two people kissing, you leave and find something more interesting to do. Is my love life so interesting to you, Seoyoung?"

I watch as she shifts uncomfortably under my gaze. "I'm just surprised, that's all. I didn't think you'd settle for someone right after calling off our engagement." I stop myself from scoffing at her words because they hit closer to home than I'd like to admit.

"It's still more decent than you loving someone else while being engaged to me," I retort, unable to keep a hint of bitterness from seeping into my words. Her gaze narrows, but before she can respond, I decide to put an end to the conversation. "I'm sure your boyfriend is somewhere out there making connections with other people. You might want to check on that." The expression of irritation right before she leaves is a small victory for a man who had once been dumped by her. 

Seoyoung storms off, leaving an awkward silence between Y/N and me. When I turn around,  I let out a sigh and run a hand through my hair. I'm not the one to break the silence first because Y/N reaches to touch my arm and I feel a comforting warmth spreading from her touch. "Are you okay?" Gosh, yes, I'm okay. I want to tell her. If she looks at me so softly and touches me so gently, I'll be more than okay. But the words stick in my throat, and I settle for a nod.

"I'm sorry you keep on witnessing how messy my life is," I say, attempting a weak smile. "I'm sorry I kissed you, Y/N. It just-"

"I know." The way she looks down and holds her dress in her hands makes me realize how vulnerable she must be feeling right now. My heart does a strange flip between guilt and an inexplicable desire to protect her from the mess I've dragged her into. "I know you kissed me because Seoyoung was watching... I know that much." The fact that she thinks that's the only reason I kissed her stings more than I expected. I want to tell her it's not just about Seoyoung, that it's about the way I feel when I'm around her, but I hold back the words. The truth is too complicated, too messy for this situation.

"Yeah, I just... that's what happened," I mumble, looking away to not meet her gaze. "We should probably head inside." With that, I extend my hand for her to take and she stares at it for a while, until I think she's not going to accept it. Just as I'm about to withdraw my hand, she finally places hers in mine. Her hand is soft and warm in mine and I wonder if she can feel the erratic beat of my heart.

As we make our way inside the venue, we're surrounded by laughter and the ambient noise of conversations. There are faces that I recognize, others that I don't, but in this moment, my attention is solely on the woman beside me. Y/N's grip on my hand tightens and I know she's anxious. After all, this is her first time attending an event like this, surrounded by a bunch of chaebols who can make anyone feel small. I give her a subtle squeeze, attempting to let her know that as long as she's with me, no one of these people can ever diminish her worth.

When I spot my parents engaged in a conversation with one of their most important business associates, I lead Y/N in a different direction, hoping to delay the inevitable introductions for a bit longer. "How do you feel?" I hand her a glass of champagne from a passing server, hoping the bubbles might lift her spirits a bit.

"Terrified," she admits, her eyes scanning the room nervously. "I mean, I didn't even imagine I'd end up in a place like this... let alone as your girlfriend."

"Welcome to my world, Flower girl. Just stick with me, and you'll be fine." The use of the nickname seems to bring a small smile to her face, and I'm relieved to see a glimpse of her usual self. Though I can't stop thinking of our kiss whenever my gaze lands on her lips, those lips that I can't believe I had the audacity to touch. Those lips that felt surprisingly right against mine. "Don't be nervous. They're just people, after all."

"That's easy for you to say. You're used to this world, but I'm not like you, Sunghoon." I take a moment to observe her, noticing the subtle signs of nervousness – the way she fidgets with the stem of her champagne glass, the occasional darting glances around the room, and the hesitant smiles she offers to those who pass by. 

"Hey," I say softly, realizing that my assumption from earlier was a bit too dismissive. "You're perfect. I've seen the way people are looking at you, I think they're more interested in you than in the fact Park Sunghoon brought his woman. And that says a lot about how extraordinary you are. Don't let the surroundings intimidate you. Just be yourself, and everyone will see what I see – an incredibly beautiful woman."

She blushes at my words, and her gaze falls to the floor. Gosh, just how much I want to make her believe those words. How I want her to see herself the way I see her. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"No, I'm saying it because it's the truth." I tilt her chin up gently, making sure she meets my eyes, and when our eyes lock, I find myself falling deeper in love with the vulnerability I see in hers. "You're not here just because you're my fake girlfriend, Y/N. But because I want you here. I want you to experience this with me. And, maybe, because in some twisted way, I want to share a part of my world with you."

That's it, I'm revealing more than I planned to admit, but I can't bring myself to stop. I cannot stop myself from telling her just how much she's affecting me, how I got to learn about love in her presence. And how I hope that maybe, just maybe, this fake relationship could turn into something real.

"And, Y/N," I continue, my voice softer than before. "I kissed you not because of Seoyoung. I kissed you because, in that moment, it felt like the most natural thing to do. Because you're not just my fake girlfriend. You're someone who makes my heart race, someone who I find myself thinking about even when I shouldn't. And knowing that it's the first time you were kissed, I wanted it to be a moment worth remembering for you."

"How did you..." Y/N's voice is barely audible, and she avoids direct eye contact as she nervously plays with the edge of her dress. 

"I noticed," I reply, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "I notice a lot of things about you, Flower girl. Like the way you kissed me back and almost melted into it. Or the way you're now looking at me, unsure of what to say." I take a step closer, closing the distance between us while her cheeks flush and she glances away. "I'm glad to be your first kiss, Y/N. Be it the first you kissed me when we first met or tonight when I couldn't resist kissing you. I'm glad it was me."