ELEANOR . NEGAN

056.

Thwack.

Daryl's knuckles cracked under the pressure of his fist meeting his face. A redness already coming along his skin. It was weird, strange - not okay. It was thick betrayal in the air of the infirmary, and he was scared about how Eleanor would react.

The Skin died last night.

Elle got mad and pissed off and left Alexandria with her knives and didn't come back until she was stricken in walker guts.

But now? There was a new Skin within the group. Dante. Thwack. Daryl punched him again. "Hope that fuckin' hurts."

Dante spat on the ground, blood mixing with his saliva while he shrugged. "It doesn't matter. None of this matters." Eleanor was sat on an infirmary bed next to Carol, her leg shaking up and down while her eyes never left Dante's body. "Watch enough people get incinerated, devoured alive, you see how ridiculous it is getting attached to ourselves."

The same night the captured Skin died was the same night Saddiq was killed by Dante. A sinister and sly kill filled with betrayal, like Macbeth and MacDuff. It made her feel sick.

"But knowing that sets you free-"

Elle grabbed the nearest thing to her (a book) and lobbed it at Dante. It bounced off the corner of his head and he hissed under the contact. Carol went wide-eyed, everyone did, while she pulled Eleanor back on her ass. "A baby!" Elle yelled. "Risked a fucking baby's life because of, what? To set us fucking free? Are you insane?"

"If you learn that lesson, it'll only help you."

Elle bit the corner of her lips and dropped her head into her hands. It was hard interrogating someone she knew because all that was inside her was the anger from betrayal.

"Siddiq depended on you. Why put him through all that hell in the barn just to kill him months later? I- I can't see an ideology behind that!"

Dante sighed. "I liked Siddiq-"

Rosita scoffed. "Oh you liked him?"

A cold nerving presence filled the room and Dante stooped his eyes to his tied hands. "He- he wasn't part of the plan. But- but he found out who I was... so I had no choice."

"No fucking choice?" She could hear Daryl's daunting voice to tell her to calm down, she ignored him. "No fucking flying choice?" Elle pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Plan. Now."

"It was to encourage your paranoia about us... which will push you into bad decisions." His tied hands pointed up at Carol and Eleanor. "Places like this are cruel promises to their people, and they crumble at the smallest nick."

He twisted his head and looked at Gabriel. "Hell, I'm gonna enjoy watching you rip each other apart over what to do with me." Elle tried not to throw another book at him. "Just like with Negan." Elle threw the book anyway.

"Don't fucking say his name."

Dante's lips twisted into a clear O and he smirked at her reaction. "Sorry, I forgot he was a sore subject. Since, you know, he got up and left you." A sour chuckle escaped his lips. "Only difference is... he killed a lot of your people. Me? I only killed Siddiq."

"You fucking helped put our peoples heads onto spikes!"

Dante shrugged. "And what did Negan do to Abraham? Pretty sure he didn't just... pet him with a stick."

Silence. Pure silence. Eleanor looked up at Rosita, and Rosita looked at her, and they shared a similar look. Gabe could see the cogs in their minds twist and turn, so he raised his voice to grab their attention. "You want a public reckoning? A chance to be heard?"

"That's what you'll give me." He smirked, "Because it's right."

Rosita frowned. "We helped you-"

"Why? Because you needed another doctor?" He scoffed. "You got something from me, too. Don't pretend you didn't." Rosita spoke some spanish the same time Eleanor spoke welsh, the two bilingual women looking at each other with a knowing gaze. "No one is actually kind. We are selfish, we are brutal - come on. Even seeing all those heads on spikes didn't teach you what people are?"

Dante was thrown forwards with the powerful kick from Rosita, before she turned and left.

-

I remember this passage from my studies — written by a scholar centuries ago who was trying to understand the impossible.

In front of Gabriel stood a man-sized covered grave, and Eleanor felt disgusted through and through. Everyone around her had upset faces and shaking hands — Siddiq was an important and nice figure in Alexandria. Elle couldn't handle this again.

Let me live if life is better for me and take my life if death is better for me.

Eleanor felt horrible to feel upset because she wasn't close to Siddiq, not like Rosita was, or Gabriel, or anyone else for that matter. She felt like she had no right for the painful buzz inside her that made tears rest on her eyes.

He had surrendered himself to fate because his world defied logic. Defied justice. We created you from it... and return you into it... and from it we will raise you a second time.

YO YO YO YOOKOO

i wish i had elle have a deeper connection with siddiq but sadly their paths never crossed as much as i wished. they were more just joky mates but it's upsetting he's gone

also im writing this section of the author note when i've currently wrote five chapters... and im telling you rn im so bored to losing it

i feel like my eyes and brains are making words sound and look like not words. and its taking ages for negan and elle to meet agin im so pissed ogf (it's my fault but still)

anyways!! <3