ELEANOR . NEGAN

063.

Elle didn't stop thinking for a long time. Even when the horde passed and everyone was getting checked up at the rendezvous point. Her knees were to her chest and her eyes never wavered from the blood-stained knife on the floor. It was covered with Earl, it freaked her out.

Eleanor didn't know how to deal with the wreckage of Hilltop and the distraught members. They were all upset, crying — screaming for those who were lost and begging for a place to live. She had to walk away when a little boy said he couldn't find his dad.

Even if it hurt, Elle didn't move from her crawl space against the outside walls of the house. It wouldn't be long until Daryl or Carol finds her but for now, she just needed this moment.

The thoughts in her mind were on another level, and she couldn't get a solid grasp onto her emotions, not like before. She's had her breakdowns, but they were easily manageable. Right now? She was sobbing even if it hurt her ribs and stung the gash on her cheek from the salty tears.

She was heavy on Negan, heavy on Hilltop, heavy on Earl. And she didn't know what to do. Elle still felt mentally pained and distraught from the cave accident, and with everything else piling on top - she felt so stuck.

"Figured ya be here."

Elle didn't look up. "There's that southern twang I've missed so much." Daryl didn't laugh, dick. "How is everyone?"

"Stop asking stupid fuckin' questions." She sighed. "How ya feelin'?"

"How am I supposed to feel?" Daryl didn't know the answer to that. "Feels like i've got shat on by twelve tonnes of rock. Literally." He should've chuckled at that, he didn't - fuck. "I'm pissed off and upset."

"There yur go."

"Negan shouldn't have left. And I'm so sick of people- people putting all blame on him as if he's actively actually fucking here. News flash, he fucking ain't." She rubbed her nose with a frown. "I don't care if that makes me the bad fucking guy - I don't care! It's not fair, he promised he wouldn't leave, said he'd stay for me, said it'll all get sorted out. Now the prick is off with Alpha messing behind fucking walker masks!"

"And- and I'm so pissed off with Earl! He shouldn't have got bit, that's fucking stupid." Elle gave herself a couple of seconds where a heavy sigh spilled from her lips. "I'm not angry at Earl."

"I kno'."

"Just- things should've been different. I can't keep doing it."

Daryl shuffled next to her, settling his crowbow on the grass next to them. "Life shit sumtimes." Elle scoffed. "Alri', lotta times. Don't mean ya give up."

"I'm not giving up." Elle finally tore her eyes away from the knife and looked at Daryl. "I can't, can I? We ain't Switzerland, we can't die peacefully here. What's the shittin' point?"

"Point is ya gotta keep going." He gently wrapped his arms around her body, "For Maya, for me, for Ne- for him. Ya gotta keep goin'." To change the topic, which was clearly needed, he cleared his throat and pointed towards the woods. "Ya seen Carol?"

"She's not back?"

Daryl shook his head, "Shit ton ain't back." He slowly creeped up back onto his feet and looked down at her. "Thinkin' ya and me go out, help, what ya think?"

Eleanor couldn't breathe properly, nor walk, nor enjoy life and her friend's presence. Yet when Daryl said that, it brought a familiar smile onto her features. He knows me. Distractions got her through the entirety of her life and even if she was severely bruised head to toe - this would make her feel better.