Brie Sheridan has had her heart broken way too many times. Rhett Price is usually the culprit, but, this time, he might be the solution.
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Brooke 'Brie' Sheridan wouldn't necessa...
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RHETT
It's a bit daunting to come to terms with how absolutely whipped I am, but I've barely been able to take my eyes away from Brie the whole afternoon, and I fear it will be even harder to not look at her as the evening progresses.
Every time she has caught me staring at her and smiled in return, it has felt like a punch to the heart. I don't know how I'll survive this dinner.
When my chest aches the most and reminds me this is all for show, that we're only doing this to fulfill our short-term goals to secure our long-term ones, it gets downright agonizing. It's torturous to know nothing will ever feel as right as this, and this just so happens to be fake. I know Brie like the back of my hand, one of the few things I'm proud to admit to, and I can see through her bravado, so it's safe to say that she would've already said something if all these feelings had started to bleed into the realm of reality.
She did kiss me out of her own volition at Paige's birthday party, though; even if it was just to convince Cole, she didn't have to ask me to kiss her again. And again. When no one was watching, when no one would ever know about it except for the two of us—that meant something to her. It could have been pure, unadulterated lust, sure, but I've been pathetically longing for it to be more.
Me, out of all people.
Me, someone who has been running away from serious relationships for as long as I can remember. Me, someone who was burnt down to the bone the one time I gave one of those relationships a chance.
Me, someone who once made Brie feel exactly how I felt over the summer. If this is the universe's way of making me pay for my crimes, then it's only fair, but it doesn't make the longing grow any quieter. If anything, it only makes me want her more, in spite of the uncertainty that lies ahead. It doesn't feel like this with anyone else, even if I wanted it to, and the only person I can openly talk about it with is her—not Andy, who I'm still choosing to keep in the dark and who could help me if I was able to trust him enough.
Instead, I reel it back in, pretend I'm not falling fast and hard for the one girl I know I can't have.
The main condition behind our agreement was that we would try to mend things, but she's still adamant on keeping the true nature of our relationship platonic. The sudden proximity has only made my feelings grow to unsustainable levels, easily slipping out of my control, and I hate it. I hate feeling this powerless, even if it's for a good cause—it shows I have a heart and proves I'm able to care about something other than myself and my career, or whatever—but it's still there, haunting me.
At first, I even tried to fool myself into thinking this was all exactly because she's the one girl I can't have, like she's some prize to be won at a carnival, like she's an object I'm somehow entitled to. Forcing my idiotic brain to see her as Brie and not as a conquest—which shouldn't have had to be an obligation to begin with, but I like to think I've become a better person—has only made it worse in the sense that it has helped me realize my feelings for her are anything but platonic.
