Take a Look trough the stars

Matter

So they can't see your size you hide your body behind huge cloths of fabric, it's tearing you apart.
You can hear the sound of breaking down, as soon as you take a step outside your comfort zone all you are and will ever be is just the comedic relief.
As others your age going around having fun and showing off their body you just sit at home counting the numbers that you chug down.
Everytime you try doing Sport your body stops you from continuing, sharp pain everywhere.
Heavy breaths and dizziness and the suddenly you're spilling over.
You're scared, you think you're too lazy and too weak for the world to ever accept you.
Why are you still here, you ask yourself that every single time you walk next to the mirror and see your reflection.
And you're sick of waiting patiently for changes that won't ever arrive.
No matter what you put on looks just hideous.
After all even if you put the most presentable rags on a pig, it will allways stay a pig.
Your soul has no home, because instead of a heart deep inside there are just broken fractures of the place you call yourself.
The way when you look into the mirror and think about where you'd take the siccors if you'd could, makes you seem even worse.
And makeup doesn't make anything better,it's just lipstick on a pig.
Your want to take your life but you can't, you can't even do that.
You're unable to do anything right in your life and you even fail to vanish from earth.
So you just stick to laying all day and doing nothing, trying to forget your self disgusted appearance of a human.
And you allways say you're alright because you exactly know they would never care if you were not.
You know you have to be happy and jolly because that will be the only thing that will attract anyone even if it's just a bit.
And you never even dare to spill even a single tear infront of anyone, you just can't.
You never let anyone catch you being vulnerable and that's what makes you dig your own grave slowly but surely.
After all you know that no one will love you if you're unattractive.