prompted by recent stuff, general mood, lincolns Downhill and reading a fanfiction about teenagers set in 2k16, i have been prompted to think about myself some, everything i do and am. im a fox that someone had tamed and then left alone to wake up crying its heart in the middle of the night. but i have done similar things to others. i have left without a word many times, including when my sudden lack of interaction caused someone to abandon their wattpad account. im awful at this and not sure what i can do to change, but i guess im trying. i can apologize millions of times, but nothing will change the fact that im speaking to the void and not to those people alone.
that is to say, i hope you are well and wish you the best. im sorry but i hope youre alright now.
i have been so lonely in the past it borders on insane, and still am, although less so now, fortunately. it still hurts. im a teenager but im also over 20 now. its so strange to think about it. im just starting to live. i feel like 15 still.
im still utterly romantically starved and desperate, lonely and still shaken by how it turned out and how they left me. i guess that has been the point at which my childish attitude to making friends has ended. i regret that dearly, as there are people with whom i would love to have closer relationship, but find it impossible to trust them as much as i used to do.
i miss all of this. i know i dont have to abandon anything as i grow up, i can still act and do the same, but it still hurts.
it got terrifyingly easy to look at the morning sky and not think about how they would love it. But still, my vision of havens remains. i hope you are well and we'll meet again on the other side.
and now, for the art.
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Asza x Pustułka, bo za mało rysuję tego shipu.
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kalmar
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truj
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bazgroł dla znajomej
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art dla osoby która poprosiła o rysunek oc. jeden z lepszych, moim zdaniem. ciężkie do pokolorowania, ale bardzo mi się podoba.
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prezent dla Łapy
dawno nic nie rysowałam, serio chcę znowu zacząć.
za to zaczęłam pisać, still LISA, i napisałam dosyć sporo, choć niewiele na razie opublikowałam.
nie wiem, czy powinnam pisać tutaj moją nazwę na ao3, ponieważ jest taka sama jak moje nsfw konto na twitterze, a nie chcę, żeby ktoś młody się mi tam przyplątał, ale możecie mi napisać czy ktoś chce zobaczyć jakieś moje opowiadania, to na następnym rozdziale dam. ofc mam jeszcze twitter Rainwing15 od rysunków, oraz ao3 wofowo oc też Rainwing15.
na dc nadal jestem Wodospad z Deszczoskrzydłych #9938 jeżeli ktoś coś chce. tam i twitter jestem praktycznie codziennie.
Miłych świąt i wszystkiego innego, mam nadzieję, że u was ok <3
