Undercurrent

Chapter 5

Determined to have a better start to the morning, I'd set the alarm extra early ready for my second day at college. When I got downstairs, normality seemed to have resumed as Mum hadn't served up anything for breakfast. Maybe she thought I'd still be full from yesterday's morning feast. I went to grab my usual yoghurt and then remembered what Mum had said yesterday.

I needed to put myself out there.

So that's how I ended up sat in the college café first thing in the morning, sitting alone and nursing a lukewarm hot chocolate. I'd had to force myself through the doors when I got there as my early morning bravery had almost worn off. I looked around the café which was beginning to fill up now that it was getting closer to 9 o'clock. My eyes lost focus as the faces, none of which I recognised, all started to blur together. This had been a bad idea.

I checked my watch for the fifteenth time in fifteen minutes. Ten past nine. My first lesson, English, was at half past, so I figured if I took a slow walk now, I wouldn't be too obviously early. I was kind of hoping that I'd see the girl from yesterday. Mum had been right – she did seem nice – and I had to start somewhere. No sign yet though.

I was the first to arrive for English so I waited in the corridor for a while, clutching my brand new Paperchase folder like some kind of shield. I nodded occasionally at the other students milling past, trying to look like I wasn't terrified every time one of them glanced at me. I couldn't decide whether I wanted someone to start a conversation or not; I figured that 'not' would be safer.

A few others had joined me by the time the teacher came along the corridor and let us in. The perks of being early meant that I had first choice of seat so, not wanting to look too keen, I went for one halfway across the room, near the window. More students joined the room, some in pairs or groups, some on their own like me. I wondered if anyone would sit with me and found myself unusually disappointed when the seat remained empty. At my old school, I'd revelled in managing to get a table to myself.

"Morning everyone," the teacher was setting up his laptop at the front of the room. "Welcome to A-Level English. My name's Pete and I'll be taking this class for the Autumn term."

Pete? Pete? What happened to 'Mr Whoever' or 'Sir'? All these differences at college had a way of making me feel really quite uneasy.

*

I found myself outside in the picnic area at lunch time. After English, I'd decided to explore the library a bit and grab a couple of the texts that Pete had suggested, then realised I had a good hour and a half before my next lesson started at 1 o'clock. I'd started to beat myself up a bit about managing my time better but then figured that even I could cut myself some slack on my first proper day of college.

After I'd finished eating, I stuck around for a bit. I'd always quite liked a bit of people-watching, making up stories in my head about who they were and what they were doing. Being in a college picnic area gave these stories a fair number of limitations though; it was pretty unlikely that any of the students here had wildly exciting secret lives. Maybe I could stretch my imagination a bit when it came to the staff.

I'd lost myself in my own head for a while when I heard the church bells a few streets away chime 1 o'clock. Great. Another thing to get used to, no school bell to make sure I didn't miss lessons. I had psychology this afternoon and I was a bit nervous since I'd never had a psychology lesson before. At least with art and English, I could pretend I knew what I was doing. Psychology, on the other hand, was completely new to me.

I grabbed my things and sped into the main college building, hoping that the lift was working and I wouldn't have to climb four flights of stairs when I was already running late. Bursting into a room full of people would be bad enough but doing it sweaty and out of breath would be mortifying. I was in luck, the lift doors opened as I approached.