Undercurrent

Chapter 15

Ollie didn't turn up to class in the morning. He wasn't there after lunch either. To be honest, I might as well not have been there myself.

I couldn't work out why it bothered me so much but I found it impossible to concentrate all day and when Gloria finally finished the lesson, I was relieved to get out of there.

I decided to skip the bus. My head was all over the place and I needed the fresh air. It probably wasn't the best idea, considering I'd only just regained the use of my ankle, but I started walking home, trying to piece together all the weird bits of my brain that just weren't working. Or rather, the bits that were working way too much.

As always, when I found myself wandering aimlessly, I ended up looking down at the sea. Cold, grey waves lapped gently at the shoreline, a complete change from how they'd angrily hurled themselves towards the beach just a few days ago. I thought back to last Saturday. Almost a week had passed since I'd stupidly got myself stuck, cornered by the tide after chasing someone who hadn't even been there. It had felt like months since Ollie had found me but now that I was back here, the week seemed to have sped by. I couldn't keep up.

I'd thought that when I got back to the beach at some point, I'd have some kind of panic about being there. Either that, or I'd leave it so long to come back that I'd never be able to do it. Weirdly, I found that I didn't actually feel much at all. Considering this was the place that held two of the most traumatic memories I had, I felt a strange nothingness when I looked down there. No sadness. No fear. No anger.

The only feeling I could vaguely make out was an odd sense of curiosity. It had been bothering me all week that Ollie hadn't seen anyone else on the beach with me. Objectively, I guess, it did make sense – nobody else would be stupid enough to go out on the beach in weather like that. Yet, I'd been so sure that Zach was there. I was convinced I'd seen him heading into the cave, convinced he was just a few steps ahead of me.

Unable to shake the uncertainty, I wondered if there was any sign that anyone else had been there. Realistically, I guessed that the storm on Saturday and the rain since would have washed any answers away but I still felt like I needed to go down there and check.

Taking a deep breath and hoping to God that nobody saw me here, I started down the path. Luckily, it had been dry for a few days so the ground was nowhere near as treacherous as it had been. That didn't stop the sharp twinge that came from inside my trainer, letting me know that even though I might not be traumatised from the last time I was here, my ankle certainly was.

I took it slowly, holding on to the rocks that lined the path, although I didn't really feel unsteady on my feet. The route down to the sand was so familiar to me that my feet seemed to take themselves, not needing any guidance from my brain. Lucky really, since it was so busy debating what kind of things I should look for, to try and give myself some answers.

It took longer than usual to make my way across to the cave once I got down there. I didn't usually stare at the ground as I walked across the uneven pebbles but I didn't want to risk another injury. I didn't really know what I was looking for but when I got a few paces away, a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Nina! What are you doing here?"

I turned round and spotted Zach sitting on one of the larger rocks nearby. I must have walked straight past him without realising he was there.

"I didn't realise you'd be here," I said, feeling a little awkward. The last time I'd spoken to him, we hadn't ended on the best of terms and I hadn't been prepared to see him again today. "Sorry, I'll head off." I gestured to the coast path, starting to move towards it.

"No, wait." He jumped down from the rock and came towards me. "Stay for a bit?"

I looked up and met his eyes. They were darker than usual, like he hadn't slept for weeks – a stark contrast against his unusually pale skin. Clearly Zach had been keeping himself out of the way for a while.