TW: INSTANCES OF FORCED SENSUAL ACTIVITY
July 30, 1965 - 11:29 AM
Johnny’s POV
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I’m sitting on the bed next to Dally, uncomfortably glancing from my lap and up to Dally’s blank expression. It’s been unusually quiet ever since I entered the room.
“Dally?”
“What’s up, man?”
“Are you okay? Is something bothering you?”
Dally crosses his arms and refuses to break his tough act. “What makes you say that? I’m alright.”
“Dallas,” I state, placing a hand on my best friend’s shoulder. “I know you better than anyone else in the world. I can tell when something’s wrong. C’mon, talk to me.”
Dally glances at the small hand on his broad shoulder. He licks his bottom lip thoughtfully, a common habit of his, and shifts his body in order to face mine.
“Johnny, can I ask you something?”
I nod.
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I do!” I smile.
“No matter what?”
I nod once more.
“Even if,” Dally leans in closer, his breath fanning my skin. “Even if I do this?”
He leans in and smashes his chapped lips against mine, and he doesn’t stop. I want to scream as loud as I can, and I want to tell him that I don’t love him like this. Except, you don’t say no to Dallas Winston without facing major consequences.
He gropes hungrily at my skin and pulls me closer, continually connecting our lips with so much force that it’s making me feel nauseous. Dally doesn’t seem to notice that I’m not kissing him back.
“I love you, Johnny.”
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I gasp as my eyes fling open and I search my surroundings for the dangerous monster from my nightmare. Wait, that wasn’t a nightmare, that’s my reality.
I ambled to the park last night after leaving Dally’s house. My lips are swollen and red, but my heart aches with more intensity. What I’ve done to Ponyboy and Dally is unforgivable, even though I didn’t want to do it at all. I should’ve prevented Dally from kissing me, but I didn’t. I was terrified of what Dally would do to me if I refused. Now I’ve messed everything up. What am I supposed to tell Ponyboy?
I get up and walk over to the Curtis’ house, as it’s the only place that brings me comfort nowadays. Darry and Soda greet me at the door.
“Hi, Johnnycake!” Soda says, hugging me from the side.
“Man, are we glad to see you,” Darry remarks.
“What’s up?” I ask, hugging Soda back.
I notice a sad glint in Darry’s ice blue eyes. “Ponyboy’s been up in his room crying ever since last night.”
“What?” I exclaim, clasping my hands together worriedly, “How come?”
Soda shakes his head. “He won’t tell us anything.”
“I’ll try talking to him,” I offer.
I walk up the stairs and push Ponyboy’s bedroom door open.
“Hey, Pone,” I say, looking into the dark room and over at the lump on the bed.
Ponyboy’s green eyes flicker open and meet my gaze. “I don’t want to talk to you,” he sniffles, shifting his body away from me.
I sigh and walk over to sit on the bed. “Tell me what’s going on, Ponyboy.”
“No!” he cries, “Leave me alone!”
“My love-”
At this he shoots up in the bed with a look of fury. “Don’t you ‘my love’ me! I saw you with Dally last night! Cheater!”
My breath hitches and my eyes widen. “Ponyboy, let me explain.”
“No! Get out! I never want to see you ever again!” he sobs.
A small gasp leaves my lips and my eyes water in hurt. “You can’t mean that.”
“Leave, now!”
His voice cracks at these last words, along with my heart.
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