november 7th, 1981

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Dear James,

Do you remember that one Halloween, I think you were eight and I was six, we dressed up as hippies, which was mums idea ofcourse, and we raided the entire neighbourhood of their candy. I remember we came home with two bags full and mum started questioning you because she thought you had stolen from the other neighbourhood kids.

I remember how you threw up a few hours later because you ate all your candy at once, while I saved mine for later. I guess I was always the smarter sibling, even though you always refused to admit it, because at least I didn't throw up my Halloween candy.

That's the Halloween I want to remember, James. I don't want to remember how I got a patronus, from Sirius telling me you're gone. I don't want to remember your lifeless eyes as I arrived at godrics hollow. I don't want to remember how Harry was absolutely crying his eyes out because he saw Lily's lifeless body. I don't want to remember how Hagrid arrived and tried to take Harry from me. I'm so so happy I was able to convince him and Dumbledore Harry would be safe with me, because I don't know what I'd do without him.

Unfortunately I can't, I can't remember the happy Halloweens we had. That one night, god that one night, the 31st of October 1981, I can't forget it. I know that's obvious, it's only been a week. I wish someday when I hear your name I will recall our happy memories, and not that godforsaken Halloween evening.

James, the funeral is tomorrow, they've asked me to speak, and I think I will. The world deserves to know you, the real you. I'm taking Harry to the funeral too, he deserves to say goodbye, he might not remember it but it gives me peace of mind. I'm not sure if Remus is going to be there, but I've sent him an invitation. Sirius won't even be able to come, he's in Azkaban by now. I feel so bad for him, James. He's gotten lifelong in Azkaban, and people are saying he deserves it, but I'm doubting he did it. It was Sirius, I've known him since I was 9 and you were 11.

I'm going to stay strong for Harry, I will tell him all about you as he grows up, he deserves to know you and Lily. He deserves to know everyone we lost. Marlene, Sirius, Merlin I'll even tell him about Lily's sister and that one time you flirted with her.

I hope you know I'm going to do everything I can, to protect Harry. He deserves it, he's just a boy.

Love, forever and always,

Ivory Mae Potter

November 7 1981

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