Progeny #1: Embers Of Devotion

Chapter 21

Nag-aalab

The two of us were silent after we shared intimacy. Alas dos ng madaling araw ay mulat pa rin kami pero kapwa walang lumalabas na salita sa bibig namin. We’re just here, savoring the moment as if we will lose it anytime soon. And I admit it, I am scared.

Nakapatong sa aking tiyan ang kaniyang isang kamay, ang ulo ko ay nakaunan sa kaniyang bisig. I felt him sniffing my hair. Katutuyo lamang noon at siya pa ang nag-blower. Ganoon lamang ang ginagawa niya at sobrang kalmado ng kaniyang paghinga.

I am wearing my undies and he is wearing his boxer. Kung hindi ako pagod, hindi rin kami mahihinto. We missed each other so much that the moment we finished eating, nagdiretso agad kami sa silid ko at hindi na kami lumabas pa roon.

Both of us didn’t talk about what he said earlier. Kapwa kami naghihintay ng tamang oras. Alam kong nahihirapan pa siya. Nahihirapan siya at ako, gaano ko man sabihing handa ako sa malalaman, naroon ang takot.

Kaya iyon din siguro ang dahilan kung bakit hanggang kinabukasan, nagpaalam kami sa isa’t-isa, nagmamadali pa. I received a message from Dad that Mom has been crying for days! Na ayaw nitong ipasabi iyon dahil gusto akong bigyan ng time but then Dad can no longer let Mom cry like that, blaming herself.

And true to what he said, I saw Mom inside their room, lying down while her eyes were puffy. She’s asleep and I could only watch her like that.

Bumukas ang pinto ng kanilang silid at iniluwa si Daddy na may hawak na tray na may gatas at cookies.

“Magmeryenda ka muna,” ani Dad sa mababa at napapaos na oses.

Tinanggap ko ang inabot niya. Dad pulled a chair towards me and both of us stayed silent and watched Mommy as she slept soundly.

I thought Dad won’t speak unless I did but then maybe he couldn’t just let this moment slide.

“Alam kong nagtataka ka na sa sinapit ng Mommy mo,” panimula niya. I pursed my lips and took a glance of him before I drank my milk.

“Your Mom has trauma, Briallen. She doesn’t want you to know about that and I can’t still tell you about it unless she’ll give me her permission. It was hers in the first place,” mahabang paliwanag niya.

“Why am I not allowed to know about it?”

Bumuntong-hininga siya at pinagsalikop ang kaniyang mga kamay.

“Maybe because she thought she’ll forget about that. Na hindi na babalik pa o mauungkat ang dahilan ng trauma niya.”

“But now it resurfaced?” agad kong tanong. “Tatapatin kita. Daddy. Mom became like that after she saw someone. A man to be specific.”

Dad breathed heavily again. This is also hard for me to talk about.

“That man is connected to your Mom’s past,” aniya.

Tumango ako, nauunawaan iyon.

“Does that mean Cloudius H. has something to do with Mom’s past too?” Hinarap ko si Daddy. “Kasi ang lalaking nakita ni Mommy ay kasama ni Cloudius noong gabing iyon.”

Dad licked his lower lip and gave a sideway glance to Mom before he looked straight into my eyes.

“It has something to do with him, anak. That’s why I am asking for your cooperation to never let yourself be associated with that boy,” seryosong saad niya.

Hindi ako natuloy sa pagtatanong pa kahit perpekto na ang timing dahil sa pagkilos ni Mommy. At nang magmulat ang kaniyang mga mata, kahit kapwa kami ni Daddy nakatingin at nakaharap sa kaniya, ako agad ang nahanap niya.