The room becomes my own stage, where I dance in a captivating routine that seamlessly blends forward and backward movements. With every step, my trembling lips convey the intense emotions stirred by the viral video I watched on social media.My parents are worried about me, so they've decided to keep me locked in my room. They really want to protect me from running into him, wherever he might be right now.
“Mom!” I cried her name. “Daddy!”
Kinalampag ko ang pinto pero ilang minuto na ang nakalipas ay walang nagbubukas ng pinto. Bumalik ako sa harap ng kama ko.
Clutching my phone tightly, I listened as it rang several times, but no one on the other end showed any intention of answering, just like what happens every time I am fucking calling him. Disappointed, I ended the call and proceeded to dial a different number.
Dius has three numbers. Ngayon kahit isa, walang sumasagot sa akin!
Sumabog uli ang mga luhang pinipigilan ko. Umaalpas na ang hikbing kanina pa kumakawala sa aking nangangatal na labi. Kahit napupuno na ng inis, I typed a message and sent it to his main number. I'm sure my message has a lot of typographical errors due to the cloud of tears on my eyes.
Kailangan ko siya ngayon! Higit na ngayon!
"Dius..." I muttered his name angrily.
He’s been like this since I don’t know! Kailangan na kailangan ko siya ngayon. I need to hear his side. Una ay ang tungkol sa kanila ni Gianna. Pangalawa ang video namin. Kailangan ko malaman kung paano nakalabas ang video na iyon sa publiko. Siya lang ang may kopya niyon. Ako ang kumuha sa sarili niyang camera.
Ano pang lalabas na susunod? Meron pa ba? I wanted to know! Tangina! Dius needs to give me his reason! Nauubos ko na ang pasensyang mayroon ako kasabay ng katinuan.
Sumulyap ulit ako sa pinto nang makarinig ng mga lagabag. Habang nagtitipa ako, tinatakot si Dius na gagawan ng masama ang sarili kung hindi siya tatawag, nauubos ang oras ko para itago ang tanging kagamitan ko para magkaroon ng contact sa kaniya.
Iisang mensahe lang iyon. I copied and pasted it so many times.
I will abort this child if you won’t give me an answer now.
Naiiyak ako sa sariling mensahe. It was just supposed to be a threat to him but somehow, the idea is being familiarized by my mind every time I am pasting it and sending it to his number.
Hinaplos ko ang dibdib at sinuntok-suntok iyon kalaunan. Puro sending ang nakalagay sa mensahe kong paulit-ulit at pagkadami-dami.
Lumakas pa ang pagkabog ko sa aking dibdib hanggang sa parang nararamdaman ko na rin ang pisikal na sakit na ginagawa ko sa mismong puso.
I became aware of footsteps approaching my room. Maaring ngayon pa lang may nagsabi na nagtatawag ako. Who is it? Si Mommy ba? Si Dad? Si Kuya? Have they seen the video? Anong iniisip nila? Na ako nga iyon?
A sense of unease enveloped me as I received no response to the messages I had sent. I couldn't help but continuously glance at the room's door and the cellphone I clutched in my hand.
Whoever is about to enter my room will find out about my other phone that I'm using to contact him since day one. Kaya lang, hindi ko na rin mabitawan ang cellphone dahil ayaw kong hindi agad mabasa ang sagot niya o 'di kaya ay 'di masagot ang tawag niya sakaling tawagan ako. Umaasa ako na sasagot siya at matatakot doon kahit papaano.
The steps are becoming closer. I repeatedly sent messages and bombarded his number. My screen flashed a notification that said my phone is about to die. I feel a mixture of emotions. Worry, fear, anger, and disappointment.
BINABASA MO ANG
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