Kenny's car pulls into the drive way and instead of making it look like i havent been crying I just
lay on my couch crying more and more. its not like Kenny doesnt know i wasnt crying so whats
to hide. I hear the door open i guess olivia didnt lock the door when she left. "Hey beautiful
you feeling?" he says as he walks over to me and sits on the couch putting me in his arms
"I wanna kill myself, thats how i feel"
"Dont say that you will make ME cry! Please dont kill your self!" Kenny grabs my face
"God, why do i even care so much your such a dick anyway! why did you come over i hate you!"
"well i dont hate you and i love you. im not leaving" he squeezes me into a forced hug
"no you dont" I say shoving him away "you dont love me"
"yes i do. I love you more than anything" He says keeping me close to him
"no your lying, just like everyone else. No one loves me" I cover my ears and weep
"no! im not lying why wont you listen! I. Love. You" He makes me look him in the eyes
I dont say anything. I dont believe him but he wont leave me alone so what harm could
come from telling him why I'm upset. "fine you might love me but there is no way in hell
Olivia still loves me after what happend. I fucked up bad dude" I cry curling my knees to my
eyes and crying onto my knees. I don't believe he loves me, its just like Olivia said he probably
just wants to fuck, nothing more, He doesnt want to date me. No one loves me, How could they I
suck at being a good person, I have friends but I end up fucking everything up. Like just now. I
hate that I'm right and making good points. Everyone is just faking it. My parents dont love me
anymore they love each other. My friends dont like me, its all fake. They are lying because they
pity me. This whole reality is fake, nothing is real. Nothing is real. I'm just lying to myself. I make
little realities in my brain for fun and make shit up and get sad about it.
"Y/N Your spiraling! Just calm down everything will be ok. Im here for you" Kenny holds me
close to him. His body is warm and has a scenes of comfort. something i havent felt in a long
time.
"Oh god Kenny, what am i going to do. I lost one of my only probably true friends."
"you havent lost shit. you just got into a fight, you will be fine. Me and my friends get into fights
all the damn time and we always get back together." he places his forehead against
mine. "i promise it will be alright" he lays a soft kiss on my forhead. I'm to overwhelmed to
get mad at him for kissing me. "i just don't know how to fix this whole fight. she probably hates
me know" i hide my face in my knees curling them close to me. "honey i need you to calm
down, its never going to get better if you dont calm down ok?" Kenny picks my head up and
cradles it in his hands "why dont we just take tonight to cool down, its clear you guys need a
moment to take some deep breaths, we can talk to her tomorrow and clear it up. now what do
you usualy do to calm down from a fight?" i sniffle and my past memories of my parents fighting
in the past, yelling, screaming, slamming. I go quite for a moment, "honey? whats going on
in that head of yours that i'm not hearing?" he asks "my parents used to fight before they
separated when i was 9 so its hard when me and my friends fight" i cry softly,
"well that makes more since your reaction seemed to be quite scared that you were going
to loose olivia, but i promise you it wont be that bad, its just a little fight, it happens all the
time with people and their friends. but i swear it will get better and its just a tiny fight."
"i know but wait what where you saying before i trauma dumped?" i remember him
saying something but i dont remember. "oh i was asking what do you do when your calming
down" he hugs me close
"oh i usually listen to music in my headphones"
"well why dont you play me some of your music!" he suggests. "my phone is upstairs in my room
I'll go get it" i hop off my coach and run upstairs with kenny behind me
"oh yeah by the way there is no way your getting those panties back i stole" kenny smiles.
"ugh what ever" I plop down onto my bed and grab my phone and connect it to
my bluetooth speaker in my room, i play Poision Tree by Grouper and turn off my lights
to reveal my glow in the dark stars all around my walls and ceiling and lay on my stomach
in my bed with my blankets. "woah thats a lot of stars you got on your walls" kenny smiles
"yup $10 bucks for a pack of 600 stars. i need to buy some more there is still some empty
spots on my ceiling" kenny lays down next to me "this song is nice i like it, you have good
music taste" he hugs me tight as i put my phone on my nightstand next to my clock
that reads 11pm. after the song finishes Lovers Rock by TV Girl plays, along with
Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens and Mary by Alex G. Kenny spoons me while i lay
on my side. i have my face on his chest and his head laying on the top of my head.
while i sneak into a soft peaceful sleep kenny rubs my back and for once i feel comforted
YOU ARE READING
I'll Lose My Mind Over You Another Thousand Times {Kenny x F reader}
FanfictionYou have a really tuff time at home. Your only escape is music and your art. you have friends and you do talk to them but not about the tuff stuff. You mostaly try to stay away from talking about that. You are usually with your headphones on listeni...
