MERSING CHRONICLES

Chapter 23 The Chef

"Heard of Anthony Bourdain?"

"Vaguely," Hiang turned her head.

"He was a famous chef early this century, died 2018." Nur sipped his green tea and fondled the mug. They were sitted in the living room of his bungalow, he on an armchair and she on a three seater couch. It was dark outside, and the noise of the insects and the cicadas could be heard coming from the trees enveloping the house. The living room was large and could sit 10 people comfortably on sofa sets. The British were excellent in creating space for themselves and didn't spare any effort in living room design. The ceiling was a lofty 14 foot high with yellowish lights coming from fixtures on the walls. The lush carpet on the wooden flooring in the centre provided additional comfort. This was where 20th century British plantation managers laid down for the evening with a scotch on one hand and a cigar on the other. 

"He was worth $1.2 million US when he died at his own hands," Nur continued. "When I was in that prison I understood why people would want to end it. I was tempted myself. But Anthony Bourdain wasn't in a prison. He was world renowned chef, books and TV shows to his name. No disease, no cancer that could limit his life. He travelled the world, eating good food, meeting friends, and telling his stories on TV. "

"So why did Anthony Bourdain killed himself?" he turned to look at her. 

"I read he was depressed," Hiang ventured. 

"Could be. I know what that's like."

She waited for more details.

"I am fascinated by such paradoxes," Nur said. "A person at the top of his art and career, doing a job millions would want, deciding to end it all for no good reason."

"Why do you think Bourdain killed himself?" Hiang asked.

The two had sat in the living room for hours sipping their tea without any exchange of words prior to Anthony Bourdain. Hiang had decided she wasn't going to be the first to speak. She wanted him to speak first. This was his time.

"I know why. I was there at the abyss myself staring into the void, looking down into the emptiness and the darkness. Anthony was at the abyss, where he knew no one could provide an answer to help him to continue living. There was just no answer."

"When you were in prison?"

"No it wasn't the prison, it was way before prison."

"What period are you referring to?"

"The NUS days."

"You wanted to end it in NUS?"

"I went beyond that, I made an attempt to end it."

She looked at him intently. His eyes stare at the darkness outside and his lips were firm and serious. 

"I was at the abyss and I jumped into it. But I didn't succeed. The cable broke."

"My dear Nur ..." her hand reached out to envelope his wrist with a gentle squeeze.

"Worst period of my life."

"What happened?"

"Mei, she saved my life."

"Was she a girlfriend in University?"

"No, she saved my life in prison."

Hiang was confused. 

"Mei saved my life," Nur repeated. 

"Your wife?"

Nur nodded. 

"How did you two meet?"

"She lived near where we built a road."

Hiang spent five days visiting the base. The first day she was there till the next morning listening and asking questions. Nur's narrative emerged, chaotic, events intertwining, devoid of chronology, NUS, prison, Penang, Paku, Annapolis, NUS...