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Do I have to end up like this? To be mentally unstable, everything. I lose people and I try to convince myself not to think about it — friends can not help me to heal myself, not any more. They become one of my problems too. Iyon nga masaklap, a friend should be your support when your family are not on your side. Sadly, I cut the lines and ran away. I have no choice, apaka bigat na ng dibdib ko.
And here I am acting strong, smiling to everyone's view. But did they see what my eyes look like? How my silence and noises are really like.
"Babalik daw tatay mo dito."
Silence take over me before I process the word they said, "Ayoko siya dito."
Tanging sagot ko sa kanila, that happened before Christmas. And I know, may darating, may darating sa buhay ko.
And my guesses are right — my instincts are right.
Nyeta kang bata ka, kung lalayas ka man siguraduhin mong may load ka! happy new year!!!
I was stunned staring at my phone, trying to hold my tears back as I watched how my mom cursed me so easily.
Do I have no right to be happy? Like on my own.
Kakatapos ko lang batiin ang mundo ng 'Happy New Year'? Pero siguro sadyang ang malas ko, pagka-tapos pumutok ng mga fireworks sa labas — there are tragedy waiting for me.
I was staring blankly at my reflection in Reia's mirror in their dining room, wondering why I had to face my life like this.
New Year is supposed to be a memorable, happy memorable day. But why now, I can't feel anything — can't process the happiness I felt in myself. Holidays that people treasure as their best days are now nothing to me. Hindi ko magawang paniwalaan ang mundo na bagong taon na, pasko na — because day by day, every day I was still breathing bad memories are after me.
Napa-ngiti na lang ako sa replektiyon ko, hinahangan ang mukha kong nag-bago simula nang mapadpad ako kung saan. My smile looks so damn good, and my down smile looks so attractive — yet doing that makes me so tired.
I want to run at someone, cry in someone's arms. Pero naalala ko, wala na akong ibang matakbuhan dahil takot ako, takot akong mahusgahan takot akong ipakita na mahina na naman ako — takot ako makita kung paano tumulo ang mga luha sa mata ko, marinig nila ang hagulgol ko at mga salita na lumalabas sa bibig ko na; hindi ko na kaya, wakasan niyo na lang ang buhay ko kung ganito ang daraanan ko.
"I hate the fact that INC says na tao lang si Jesus, like something na katulad lamang natin." Saad ko.
Nag-kwenkwentuhan kami ni Reia tungkol sa Diyos, in that topic I know to myself I have wisdom about what God is or in other words I know to myself I have faith in God. I am a weakshit and a sinner these days, I cry a lot — I ask God how. How can I stand again and heal my broken pieces?
Pero kahit anong ganda ng usapan niyo masisira din ng demonyo.
Maribel:
Yan ba yun walang load
Puro my day
My mom chatted with me if you wondered why her contacts are not nicknamed. All I can say is it's not worth it to put the nickname 'Mama' on my contacts. She was never a mom to me, more of a provider.
Avery:
nasa bahay na e, ano ba kayo
Maribel:
Ewan ko sayo Ver...matalino ka naman kaso minsan tanga ka
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Players Game |
Teen Fiction"I thought loving was fun, it is a burden for me." Theana Avery Reid was a dedicated academic achiever, and loving was too hard for her - but not until she fell in love with Arthur Greiger. Arthur is a smart, handsome, and popular chess gamer and h...
