21: No One Believes You

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"I hate it," I shivered and wiped my tears

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"I hate it," I shivered and wiped my tears. "All of it."

The feeling of ants crawling beneath my skin. Dry, flaky patches appearing if I didn't apply my creams. Wearing baggy clothes because it was too uncomfortable when fabric rested on my skin.

Plunging myself into icy water was only a short relief, and I didn't last long before feeling like a human popsicle. Brody's sympathetic looks mirrored Dr. Katz's, which were as much for my parents not being able to afford stronger treatments as for my suffering. Dr. Katz's alternative suggestion? Laser-burn my skin. Sunbathe. Soak up Vitamin D. Eat a specialized diet. Don't shower daily, but when you do, short, tepid showers. Moisturize with mummy wraps.

Easier said than done when people stared at me like an absolute freak.

I felt every pair of eyes on me, from genuine, innocent curiosity to disgust. Brody seemed only curious about my condition. Despite turning beet-red in the face when I first stripped down to my suit, he didn't seem too tense about it. Or, he was too kind not to show if he was disgusted too.

Alone on the water, no one paid us any attention. Not being able to feel anything but numbness, I'd almost forgotten about my psoriasis. Brody was curious but kind, and my heart crumpled when he told me about his dad. I didn't expect him to open up, or me to hug him.

My wet cheeks burned. Why had I hugged him? He looked so sad and lost. I moved without a thought. Not falling into the water or tipping us over was a miracle. Once he got over being shocked, he was a giant heat source, almost cuddly.

Of course, he was fantastic at surfing. I was so clumsy, wobbling on his board as if I'd never stood before. His slipped over the water with the grace and familiarity of a professional.

For someone I didn't know well, Brody was easy and comfortable to be around. He didn't force conversations, worked patiently with me, and carried himself with a laid-back, casual approach. Our interactions hadn't been substantial, but each made me smile.

Until I ruined all of our casual, carefree vibes. The sun wasn't warm enough to unfreeze me, but it felt nice on my skin while I collected shells. Only when Brody returned to the shore did I notice how many people—everyone within a hundred-foot radius—were staring.

Another round of tears stung my salt-dried eyes, and I gasped for breath between sobs. Brody looked so miserable, uncomfortable, and lost at what to say on the ride back. I didn't help by running inside and burying my face in my pillow. Pierce's party was in two hours, and I was a mess.

"I should cancel before Vi gets here."

I sat up and wiped at my tears. Vi didn't answer my 'I'm not coming' text, but I set my phone down. My cheeks were blotchy, and my eyes were red and swollen. I needed to shower the salt water and sand off–probably should've done that before jumping into bed–but I massaged more flakes than usual into my washcloth. I rinsed under cold water and shampooed my hair as quickly as possible.

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