No Chance in Hell

Hell is a Place on Earth

There comes a time in most everyone's life when they are presented with one particularly harsh truth that awakens them to the reality of the world. It's never something you want to hear, but perhaps something you need to. This day, for Penelope Featherington, was the 31st of March. It started as a fine sunny day, the sound of birds chirping and the scent of blooming flowers filling the air. Truly a horrible day to have your heart broken. Even worse, it was Easter Sunday.

Before the moment occurred, well, Penelope had quite a few too many drinks, so the details were a bit fuzzy. One minute, she was laughing and dancing with Eloise and the rest of the Bridgertons at their yearly Easter shindig. She remembered sharing a particularly nice, somewhat sloppy slow dance with Colin, her long time friend, neighbor, and devastatingly handsome crush. Something in the air that night had made her feel rather bold. Probably the several shots of cherry flavored vodka swirling around in her stomach. All she knew, was that she was maddeningly in love with Colin Bridgerton, and for the first time ever, she had hope that he might feel the same. It was a fleeting feeling, but it lasted long enough for the words to slip from her lips unbidden. She hadn't even realized what happened until she saw the shocked, slightly fearful look on Colin's face. 

Terrified, Penelope fled without another word, leaving him looking very confused in the middle of the dancefloor. She ducked into the first empty room she could find and stole a moment to catch her breath. Turns out, embarrassment can be awfully good at sobering a person up. Though, that word might not even measure up to the level of sheer mortification she felt at having confessed her deepest, most repressed desires to Colin Bridgerton. 

'Colin. Fucking. Bridgerton.' She thought, pounding her head against the door she was leaned against. She wondered if she should be grateful he hadn't followed her, but somehow that made his obvious rejection sting even worse. After taking another second to herself, Penelope decided the best course of action was to return to the party, find Colin, and apologize, blaming her crazed tongue on the copious amounts of booze in her system. Believe it or not, this was not Penelope's moment. No, it came later, when she reached the Bridgerton's garden and heard the chatter of male voices who she easily recognized as Colin and his friends.

"So, Bridgerton..." She heard one begin with a boisterous laugh, and slowly made her way towards the group.

"What's up, Fife?" Colin chuckled, though she could hear the distinct tightness in his tone even from her spot a dozen or so feet away. 

"Saw you and your little Featherington girl earlier. Looked awfully cozy," Fife mused. She stopped and stiffened at his mention of her. She never much liked Fife, and she knew Colin didn't either. But, in high society London, you didn't really get to choose your circles.

"What about it?" Colin practically growled, and Penelope quickly hid behind a bush. Not that it was needed. As the 'little Featherington girl' as Fife had called her, she was easily overlooked.

"Come on," Fife prodded. "Are you guys, you know...?" 

Penelope held her breath, waiting for Colin's answer, and fought back a tear when he decisively responded with, "No."

"Seriously, not even once?" Another of Colin's friends added disbelievingly.

Fife scoffed. "The way she follows you around, I just assumed that you'd finally hit that. I mean, you know what they say about fat girls, and redheads." Penelope had to fight to keep from jumping out and punching Fife herself.

"Watch it, Fife." This time, Colin did growl, and she felt a swell of pride in her chest. He may not have loved her back, but he would always be her friend.

"Relax, Bridgerton. I'm just teasing," Fife said, trying to placate him. There was a pause, then he continued. "So if she's not worth a romp in the sheets, why do you keep her around? Unless you're actually dating her?" He teased, and Penelope groaned inwardly.