1 | Second Encounter

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A True Look Of Love, One.
❝ Second Encounter. ❞
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                It was a beautiful sunny morning out, too bad I wasn't there to enjoy it. I was a cancer patient for almost my whole life which means I've been trapped in here all the time.

Humans.

I once envied and loved them, I loved the fact that they could love. I once loved love but that is the thing I despise the most.

Love doesn't exist, even parents love, it always fades away.

No matter how much me crave it, no matter how good we are to our partners.

They'll leave.

Everyone is my life that I once loved, faded away. I always thought that they would change.

But that's not true.

Wake up.

The world isn't a real place.

It's hell.


Earth once used to be a loved and happy place that was soon destroyed by people and their selfishness.

The humans that I despised.

And still do, no matter how much love we put out there we'll never get it back.

I'd rather be lonely then be with people who make me feel alone.

I'm never loving again, heck! I'm never living again. Yes I'm alive, but that's no way of living.

Something I wondered was what did we do to suffer so much? What type of sins did we do to make us suffer like this? Did we deserve it? No, no we don't.

My life was already ruined the time I heard I had cancer but it got even worse when my mom had heard the news about me having cancer.

She broke down, she wasn't able to comprehend anything. She begged to 'fix' me, but we were already poor. So she tried her hardest to work extra jobs, no matter how much I tried to stop her.

But from her working 24/7 made her lose sleep and would spend her days and nights working. She had about 7 jobs but her being late to her jobs and making mistakes all the time made her lose her main jobs.
She ended up bankrupt and dying since she also had some problems herself but ignored that for the sake of me.

She died because of me.

People always told me to not blame myself but what else could I do other then not blame myself? My body shivered at the thought. A few tears rolled down my pale and skinny cheeks. It was kind of chilly so I hugged myself. What did I do to deserve this? I asked myself this every night.

Every.

Single.

Night.

I was always nice to the cats, dogs, animals, I was nice to everyone and everything. Even if they made fun of me being pale and ugly. More tears sprung down my cheek. I had no one. And the reality was hitting.

I hated this place, and I hated myself. I tried so hard in school so I can make my mom proud, and show her that I was more than a burden. But she wasn't even here to see it.

She left.

She promised me that she wouldn't, but it makes it even worse that she left this worl– hell because of me.

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