Chapter Five

160 3 0
                                    

"Oh, god. She's released the sociopath with an army of fangirls in this story." Olivia sighed as the first Lich started bringing another person to this world. 
"Who is he, anyway?" Fionna asked. 
"Ah, already explained it. Basically, he's a nutty split personality of Marshall who is obsessed with you and... yeah, that's about it." 

"With me?" Fionna repeated. 

"Yep. Again, crazy as a rabid squirrel." 
"You have never said that before." Marshall pointed out. 
"I thought it." Olivia announced. "And it was implied. Avoid him. He somehow amassed a large amount of fangirls despite being a total nutcase." 

"Hmm... wait, what's happening now?" Marshall asked as another person appeared in the room out of nowhere. 
Dorian Eldridge straightened, before looking at the Lich. "...this isn't where I'm from. Where have you brought me?" 
"Some alternate reality where Marshall Lee Abadeer is still here." Lee snapped sullenly from his corner. 

"Oh, right. The vampire with the crush... did that work out here?" 
Lee ground his teeth, and Marshall flushed, banging his head against the iron bars. "I don't have a crush." 
Lee looked interested. "Does that mean--?" 
The Lich got a broom and poked him with it. "No. No. You can't harass someone just because of denial. Back to your corner." 

"I am a--" 
"Don't know, don't care. Corner. You. Satan. Speak." 
Dorian raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? I am evil incarnate, the prince of darkness?" 
The Lich paused. "If I give you goats, will you help?" 
"It depends. How many goats will I receive?" 

Olivia groaned. "Why is it so easy to bribe this man with furry barnyard animals? We should remember that, though. Just in case. Hey, universe wrecker! I want my helmet back! Also, their motives definitely clash, and he's overpowered, so I'm pretty sure--" She was cut off by being poked in the face with the broom by the Lich. "You don't get your helmet back yet. And besides, their motives don't clash as much as others. See?" 

A third man appeared in the room, and Marshall stiffened. Lee regarded the man coolly. "Tobias Melahone. Don't you have something better to do?" 
"I'm sorry, did I just hear a filthy half-blood speak to me?" Tobias growled. Marshall winced, and Fionna took his hand.
"This man is not ready to hear about Jazz." Olivia noted. 

"Why am I being forced to work with idiotic, infantile vampires?" Dorian demanded. 
The Lich sighed. "All of you, just shut up. You, nutcase. Return to your corner. You, psychopath, other corner. You're both in time out as far as I'm concerned." 
"Time out?" Tobias sneered. "How juvenile. Clearly much harsher measures need to be taken--" 
"I'm not Marshall Lee." Lee snapped. "I don't like being grouped in with him." 

"Of course you're Marshall Lee! You have my annoying brother's eyes and everything! Which is why I spared you the first time... but you're not Anthony, and you never will be, so why did I spare you? It's not like it brings him back." 
"Right... I'm pretty sure that Lee is actually a split personality." Olivia mused. "I'm guessing Tobias caused it to happen... that's really dark. Hey, Lich. I know that you have literal Satan here, but I think the nutty racist redhead needs to go. He is seriously insane. And you might be able to get the sociopath and the Devil to work together for their goals, but not the redhead." 

"And who would you be?" Tobias snapped at Olivia, before narrowing his eyes at Marshall. 
"The light-hearted comic relief and the author insert." She replied. 
"And why are you in a cage with another Marshall Lee and a..." Tobias sniffed the air, then smirked. "Oh." 
"We were sent here for making terrible puns." Olivia replied. "And jokes about what the Devil wanted to do to his goats." 

"What?!" Dorian demanded. 
"We're in here for our own safety." Olivia added. "Nothing can melt these bars except Lich fire." 
"Then melt them!" Fionna and Marshall demanded in unison. 
"No. Sh. She's not done yet, and I want my damn helmet." Olivia replied. "I mean, who else could we have to mess with our stuff? Brendan Melahone is nowhere near as bad as his father, some stories didn't even have a... oh no." 

The next person that appeared was a dirtier, crazier version of the Lich, with long, matted hair. 
"So... you want to destroy all life, right?" The first Lich asked. 
The nutty Lich grinned and nodded. "Of course. Starting with the little masked nuisance and her 'boyfriend' and their little town." 

"Okay... I think that may clash with the rest of the team, so we'll discuss that at a later date." The first Lich sighed. "For now, just... don't poke the cage people. Or the sociopath. And don't set the redhead on fire, we need his cruelty and insanity." 
"Aw. Why am I helping you, anyway?" 
"I get free goats." Dorian pointed out. "You could have a goat." 

The crazy Lich stared at him. "Why are you accepting payment in goats...? You'll be one of the first to go." 
"I'd like to see you try." Dorian snorted. 
"Oh my god, shut up. I need to concentrate, there's one more person." The first Lich snapped. 

Olivia grinned. "Oh, good. Don't worry, we'll be out of here soon. And then we really, really need to run as fast as possible." 
"Um... yeah, that sounds reasonable." Fionna agreed. 
A redheaded girl appeared in the midst of all the villains assembled by the first Lich, and she leaned away from Lee, before frowning at Tobias Melahone. "...how have you two not ripped each other to shreds yet?" 

Tobias shrugged. "Who are... you're Caerwyn Moreland's daughter! I remember you!" 
Jenna Callaghan glared at him. "Wow. That is one of the more offensive true terms I've been referred to in my lifetime." 
"It's a pleasure to meet you." 
"Go away." Jenna huffed. 

"So... do you want to join our team to basically destroy everything, starting with those two?" The first Lich asked. 
"What did we do?" Marshall demanded. 

Jenna shook her head. "Nah." 
"I mean... you can destroy the blonde girl." 
"Hey!" Lee growled. "That is not happening!" 

"Yeah... no. I think you misunderstand how I work." Jenna sighed. "I never actually cared about Marshall? I saw him as a means to an end in my plan for revenge." 
"Ouch." Marshall muttered. "But it explains a lot." 
"But... you tried to steal their baby." Olivia pointed out, drawing attention from everyone. 

Jenna sighed. "Okay. Look, I can't... I can't have kids. I could, once, but I had to... I couldn't support it, and Melahone was still on the throne and who knows what would have happened... I had to... and then, when everything was fine again, I couldn't have kids. And so, yeah. Maybe I'm a little jealous of the blonde one for the same reason I took the baby-- they can have more. I mean, if they couldn't, I would never want to separate them from their baby, but they could have so many more, and it just..." 

"So... you don't want to help us?" Tobias asked. The crazy Lich moved closer to Jenna.
"No. Besides, if Melahone's working with you guys, it's going to be bloody as hell." 
"Hell is actually not that bloody." Dorian noted. 
"In any case, my style is poisoning. If I've got a problem with someone, I poison 'em." 

Olivia slowly melted the bars of the cage. "Okay. Well, now it is time for us to run for our lives, so if you two try to stand your ground and be noble or whatever, you're getting left behind. Go go go!" 

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

*Author's Note* 

Dorian is from a 'Deal with the Devil', because he's too sympathetic in LTSN. Tobias is from basically every story where I give Marshall Lee a backstory. He... I don't like writing Tobias. I try to keep a lighthearted tone, and Tobias... no. No no no no no no. Crazy Lich is from the Superhero story, 'The Shieldmaiden and the Demon', and Jenna is from 'A Fiolee Fairytale'. 

Now, I can hear you guys saying, 'why does Jenna get a character development and explanation, and why is Lee a sociopath?' A) Jenna already had this development. She has made it clear that she doesn't really care about Marshall and is more interested in the throne. And let's face it, Caerwyn is as creepy as they come. And a terrible person, let alone father and husband. As for the baby thing, yeah. That is part of her legitimate characterization. Has been for a while. 

B) Lee was always meant to be a villain. You see, I tried to justify his actions, but that just made him creepier. So much creepier. And you say, 'but Lauren, he bandaged Fionna up and stuff'. To which I retort, 'yeah, but he also threatened to kill her multiple times, threatened to get Marshall to kill her for the emotional trauma it'd inflict on him, and threatened Marshall several times so he could have Fionna all to himself.' Let me repeat that. He threatened to kill Fionna's boyfriend so that he would have no rivals. He threatened to kill the woman he loved for no good reason. HE IS A SOCIOPATH. 

Nightmares (FioLee)Where stories live. Discover now