Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain | Ryan || Yellowstone

Chapter 3

I only stopped when I made it to my clearing. I say my clearing like it wasn't owned by John Dutton. It was, but I called it mine. It was mine because I had never seen anyone else in it. Who's to say a pack of wolves didn't camp here when I wasn't or a mama bear and her cubs didn't sleep here at night, but I haven't ever seen any living thing in this clearing beside me, the trees, and the flowers.

I dismounted Rip's horse and tied him to a branch jutting out from a thick tree. The river was babbling off some distance away, but loud enough to sing in the back of my mind.

The clearing was encircled by tall trees, standing proud as they had for a hundred years. Flowers were sprinkled throughout the tall grass, blues, yellows, and pinks. 

I sat in the grass and leaned back on my hands. I tipped my face up to the sky and let the sun wash over me. Something was different about the Montanna air. It felt fresher, crisper. Untouched by anything besides me.

A voice in the back of my mind was telling me that I should talk to Ryan. That I should apologize for leaving him five years ago-

No. No, I can't do that. I thought to myself. It will do more harm than good.

I can't apologize to him because I'll end up saying things I don't want to say.

_____

"So why do you live in a different house?" Jimmy asked me as I sat at the dining room table in the bunkhouse. 

It was the early morning, and I had just woken up all the wranglers. I sat with my feet propped up on the table, sipping my coffee, and watching the wranglers get themselves ready.

"Because John Dutton told me no fifteen-year-old girl should live in a bunkhouse with a bunch of cowboys."

"You were fifteen when you got here?" 

I nodded. "Shouldn't you be getting ready, Jimmy?"

"Right, yeah-" He turned, stopped, then looked back at me. "How long have you been here?"

"Twenty years, Jimmy. Now go get ready."

He nodded and walked into the bathroom.

I looked around the room, beginning to recognize the faces I hadn't yesterday. 

Then Ryan walked out of the bathroom and stopped dead in his tracks as if I hadn't worked here for longer than he had. As if he was surprised I was here. I stared at him as I raised my mug to my lips and took a long sip, not about to look away first. 

Ryan looked away and continued getting ready.

The door swung open loudly. I looked at the entryway, and there was Lloyd. "Get out here, Cass."

I nodded and followed him out to the porch.

He leaned against the railing but pointed at one of the rocking chairs. "Sit."

I sighed and sat. "Yes?"

He shook his head as he looked at his boots. "I feel like I have some authority to say that you're being an ass."

Not even close to the worst words I've heard from Lloyd.

He looked down at me with his brows scrunched. "I think it's time you talked to him about-"

I shot to my feet. "Absolutely not. Are you kidding me, Lloyd?"

"Look, I-"

"Only you, Rip, and John know about my story, and it is going to fucking stay that way, you understand?" 

Lloyd kept her stare. 

"Do you understand, Lloyd?"

"Cass, of course I do, but-"