The Amazing Digital Circus Oneshots!

Caine x Reader *ANGST*

A/n: I have writers block and art block. I want to die.
Thank you for your time.
T/w: Abstraction/Death, Depressing, Emotional
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Intro Scene
(The Glitch Productions and show's title cards are shown. After that, the main show begins. Drum roll, please...)

Caine: Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus! My name is Caine! I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you the most jaw-dropping, heart stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon! Isn't that right, Bubble?

Bubble: That's right, Caine! I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today!

Caine: Well, let's not waste any time! Let's get right into the show!

(The cast is introduced through song.)

♪♪ Gangle and Zooble and Kinger too ♪♪
♪♪ Ragatha and Jax and Kaufmo* (WOO HOO!) ♪♪
♪♪ Day after day after- day after- day after day we fly ♪♪
♪♪ Past the moon and the sun and we don't know why! ♪♪

(*Disclaimer: Kaufmo the Clown did not show up today.)

(A new character suddenly poofs in.)

Pomni: W-w-wait? Huh, where am-?

(Freaked out by all the zaniness going on around her, she tries to reach for an exit door, only for the door to vanish into thin air. She falls back as she avoids getting squished by a potted flower which gets stuck halfway through the ground. While backing up, she bumps into some of the cast, throwing the song off and breaking Gangle's comedy mask)

Jax: Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker? 'Cause if it's a new character, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song~!

Zooble: I'm not doing that again.

Caine: My my, it appears a new human has entered this realm!

Pomni: (Trying to take her headset off) How do I... take this... headset off!?

Jax: Just keep grabbing at it. That worked for all of us.

(She tries, but almost pulls her eye out. She lets go, and her head snaps back into shape.)

Pomni: ...What's going on? I-I-I put on some weird headset and now I'm here? Who are you people? Why can't I take it off? Where am I?!

Ragatha: Let's just try to calm down. (She walks over to the shivering jester.) Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff. We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to-

Pomni: What the (BOING!) is going on?! ...What-?

Caine: Now, now, now, my dear, we can't have any of that foul language around here. The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages. You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders where anything can happen! E-except for swearing.

(And lo and behold, no matter how much profanity she blurts out, they just get replaced by wacky sound effects.)

Pomni: ...Oh my God. Well, h-how do I, you know, leave?

Caine: Uh-

Ragatha: W-Well, don't freak out about it or anything, but, uh, we don't exactly...

Jax: (Bluntly) You can't.

Pomni: What?

Zooble: Shut up, Jax. But yeah, he's right. Welcome to your new home, and your new body.

Pomni: "New home"? What do you mean?

Ragatha: Guys, don't be mean.

Jax: We've been stuck here for years. Old Kinger over there's supposedly been here the longest.