If and Only If . . . Jily

Remus's Secret

After Dumbledore winked at James, which none of them believed happened, Gryffindor was joined by one more girl, Alice Prewitt. Her and Lily became fast friends and Alice was a pure-blood, distantly related to James, and she answered many of Lily's magical questions.

However, Sirius and James quickly became known as mischievous troublemakers for chaotic pranks that were undeniably impressive, and they both appeared to be intent on beating each other for the most yearly detentions.

Remus, true to his nature, rapidly excelled in all of his classes along with Lily. They both received high praise from the staff while Peter studied as hard as Remus to achieve average results. While the other three studied into the night, James and Sirius planned pranks, learnt trick spells and used James's cloak to lurk during a dark castle to find secret passages and sneak food from the kitchens.

Despite their minimal effort, James and Sirius both maintain above average marks.

In James's case, he was top of his year for Transfiguration and a slight favorite of McGonagall. She was unintentionally impressed when she had observed his flying lessons (he had shown off outrageously) and was immensely surprised by his performance in her class since what she had gathered from other teachers was that he was a smart student with little to no care.

His near perfect production on his first try shocked her because even Remus and Lily, who were gushed about in the staff room, didn't achieve quite such an excellent try. Professor McGonagall watched as he attempted the incantation again and managed to produce a perfect model.

From that on, she always used his transfigurations as an example and would mutter slight tips under her breath as she passed his table and cause him to smirk to himself.

But, a problem arose for Remus as he grew much closer than he anticipated to his housemates. When the first full moon came around, he left under the pretense that his uncle had passed and he was attending a funeral. As the next occurred, he faked that his mother was ill. The third lie was that one of his aunts was giving birth.

As he came back from each of these events pale and wobbly, James and Sirius grew suspicious.

After the fourth full moon, Remus told them he wasn't feeling well and that he was going to the hospital wing. Sirius had the idea to visit him under the Invisibility Cloak when Remus didn't come back after dinner. Sirius had a sneaking suspicion that maybe his monthly departures weren't as coincidental as Remus implied.

When Peter, James and Sirius found only a fourth-year Ravenclaw in the hospital wing, they all grew wary.

The final evidence was checking their astronomy notes for Peter and James were skeptical of Sirius's hypothesis. Flipping to all four dates of Remus's absences, they confirmed it. Their mate was a werewolf.

James wanted to tell Lily but Sirius forbade it. "Don't tell each other's secrets," he stated firmly. James looked both abashed and uncomfortable with keeping a huge secret from his best friend.

When Remus returned looking more sickly than ever, they decided to wait until he felt better to question him.

Unfortunately, James was awful at keeping secrets from Lily. He always jumped when she spoke directly to him and responded to her questions with an abundance of obvious, artificial casualness that had Sirius slapped his forehead and Lily raising her eyebrows skeptically.

And to be honest, all three of them struggled with the idea of sharing a dorm with werewolf. Peter avoided Remus's belongings like a contagious plague and James, who had grown up hearing about maniacal werewolves such as the infamous Fenrir Greyback, was sternly trying to convince himself that Remus was Remus, one of his best friends, not just a werewolf.

Sirius accepted Remus so trustingly, James couldn't help but marvel. But what he didn't know is that Sirius had been familiarizing himself with werewolves in the library so he discovered facts about them that proved that Remus was not dangerous at all most days of the month

He also, despite his parents beliefs, trusted Dumbledore and valued him as omniscient and therefore if Dumbledore trusts Remus as a werewolf, why shouldn't he?

Then, as Remus was coming back from a study session with Lily, Alice and the Gryffindor prefect, Miriam Collinson, Sirius approached him with James and Peter standing tentatively behind him.

Remus knew something was off when he came back from the Shrieking Shack and he couldn't help but assume the worst. Now that three of his best friends were nervously waiting for him, the blood from his face drained.

"Hey, Rey," Sirius said, almost like a question.

Not breaking the tense eye contact with him, Remus set his books down on his bed, very wary about how this was going.

James stepped next to Sirius, "Now, before we ask you something, we want you to know you can trust us with anything." He recited it as they planned.

"Plus," Peter piped up behind them. "We trust you." Despite his internal fright about confronting a werewolf, Peter spoke sincerely.

Remus's eyes darted anxiously between his friends, trying desperately to figure out if they had discovered his condition. His parents had drilled in him to never tell anyone about his secret, so his first instinct was to make up some excuse. But, he couldn't bring himself to lie anymore to the boys who had made him feel as though he was a regular boy. The silence grew as the three waited for Remus to respond. In fact, James was just about to initiate Plan B when Remus opened his mouth.

Taking a deep breath praying he wasn't making a mistake, "I'm a werewolf."

He squeezed his eyes shut.

And for a horrible moment, he thought they weren't going to say anything and just run away from the evil half-breed.

Then, Sirius spoke gently, talking slowly, "It's okay. We already know. It's fine."

At this, Remus's eyes sprang open. He expected them to jump back, cry out or at least treat him differently. He also didn't anticipate that they had actually known his secret. Yet, here they are, comforting him!

He surveyed their faces. They all seemed unsurprised and their expression were kind.

"Really?" Remus whispered, not daring to believe that they would be so accepting.

Peter nodded and Sirius repeated, "Honest, it's fine."

James stayed silent for a moment before asking, "Did you really have to lie to us?" He had been the most hurt by that fact.

Panicked, Remus quickly sputtered, "Yes! They made me! I hated every minute of it! It was awful having to lie to you guys--I mean, you're my best mates." He finished, embarrassed.

A relieved grin spread across James's face. "You're our best mate, too."

A pause followed, but it wasn't awkward. They were all relishing the fact that this was a pretty perfect group of mates.

"Now!" Sirius clapped his hands before the atmosphere could get too mushy. "Me and James came up with this great prank to get the Slytherins! Wanna hear it?"

"James and I," Remus corrected automatically.

Sirius rolled his eyes and jabbed his thumb at Remus as if to say, Can you believe this guy? to James who snorted.

They spent the rest of the night perfecting the plan while goofing off and ended the night sleeping on the mountain of pillows and blankets that they had pulled from their beds. Everyone always looked back at that night as one of the best memories they had together.

Hi! Thank you so much for almost 90 views! Also, sorry this chapter took a little while. I had a ton of homework and tests this week that took forever! So glad it's almost over.

(1271 words)

-willow