Mizuena book except I lost motivation and now it's basically a one shot book

"Promise me you'll never do this again" 🌾

Thursday, 17th September

Mizuki Pov:

A few days after the sleepover, I found myself sprint-walking through the halls, just wanting to get away from that school. As soon as I got outside, I basically ran to the other building so I could get back to Ena and I's dorm. I didn't even bother to think about all the people who were probably staring at me. It's not like they were clueless about why I wanted to get away, anyways.

As soon as I got to the dorm, I locked myself in the bathroom and sat on the cold, hard floor. On Thursdays, I had a free period during the very last lesson, so I got to have a full hour to myself. Annoyingly, I had to stay back and help the teacher with something, so now I only had around 15 minutes, but any amount of time would be enough. This wouldn't take long, anyways.

I reached into my pocket and took out my pocket knife, which I always made sure to carry with me. When people asked about it, I always told them it was for self defense, even though I knew damn well that that wasn't the actual reason.

Memories of everything that those entities have said behind my back or even to my face played through my mind. Starting with the ones from a week or month ago, then to middle school, and even to my early childhood. Every new memory I thought about just added weight to an unsturdy board being attached to the ceiling by a single string that was ready to snap, unleashing this crushing weight onto my helpless self. By this point I was already sobbing heavily, and every weight that was being added pushed me closer and closer to the breaking point. For some stupid reason, I decided to stand up and look in the mirror. "Oh god... They were right" Ignoring my puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, it all became so clear why my classmates always treated me like they do. It was so hard to not notice that I looked... different. Different from the guys, and different from the girls. I didn't belong anywhere... I was a... freak.

I slumped back to the ground in defeat. I looked down at my legs. Then at my arms. Then at my hands, my feet, my hips and my stomach. "No... no no no no..!" My heart sank as I came to the realisation. Years and years of effort, for nothing. Why hadn't I realised sooner!? Every time I looked at myself it made me feel more and more sick and... disgusted. Why did I have to be born in this body..? I've just grown so tired of this disgusting, cumbersome and heavy body. My mind was filled with so many horrible thoughts which were almost becoming too overwhelming. I knew I probably shouldn't do what I was about to do, but it was my only option left. I took the previously mentioned pocket knife and just started aimlessly swiping at my arms and legs. The incisions ended up being deeper than I was expecting and blood immediately started dripping from the wounds and some even made it onto the ground. Even though I felt a big stinging sensation, it helped distract from and relieve some of the mental pain. Suddenly I heard footsteps that seemed to be getting closer and closer. Ena must be back... I tried to slow my tears, hoping she hadn't already heard me. The footsteps stopped and I heard knocking on the door.

E- Mizuki? Are you okay?

M- U-Uhm.. Yup..! I'm fine..!

E- Are you sure..? I thought I heard you crying...

M- Uhm.. I think you're just hearing things, I'm fine!

E- Okay... Just remember that I'm always here for you, okay?

M- Yup..! I understand...

I'm pretty sure I heard a small sigh as Ena walked away from the door. I should probably stop now... I knew that what I was doing was bad and I was at risk of getting caught by Ena, but it just felt so... good... "Just a little more."

Ena pov:

After I walked away from the bathroom, I decided to get started on some of my homework. I tried my best to finish the work, but it felt physically impossible for me to focus after hearing Mizuki's response. They didn't really sound fine... I checked the time and realised that it had been over 15 minutes since I had left. Maybe I'm being overdramatic... what if Mizuki is actually just fine..? You know what, it wouldn't hurt to just check. I stood up and started heading towards the bathroom. I tried to walk quietly so that if Mizuki was actually hiding something, I might be able to figure it out. As I got closer, I came to the harrowing realisation that I was in fact not just imagining things. I stood in shock outside the doorway listening to Mizuki's breathless sobs. Without hesitation I knocked on the door and I could tell Mizuki was hurriedly trying to slow their tears.