A Caged Bird | Minjoon

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"it was exceptionally well written. i really liked how vulnerable he was," a student in namjoon's class said, "i would have never expected that... judging by his character thus far. i mean... it's so clear how much he loves her. that last line tells you everything you need to know."

there was a group of six students sitting around a circular table in class, discussing the reading assignment they were given. their teacher had split the class up into groups to discuss and take notes.

namjoon, however, seemed to be completely checked out. he hadn't added anything to the discussion and it seemed his peers were starting to notice his lack of engagement.

namjoon had been adjusting to everything... decently. he hadn't really connected with any other students or made friends yet, but he wasn't really surprised by that either. he did his best to just focus on his classes and homework. he figured if he put all of his time and energy into that, maybe it would make the lack of connection a bit easier to manage.

in other words, make the losses that he'd faced easier to manage.

although, he wasn't sure how well his strategy was really working out for him.

the male student sitting across from namjoon who had been speaking previously broke him from his thoughts.

"namjoon," he said, glaring at him, before adding, "it is namjoon, right?"

namjoon snapped out of his haze and looked up.

"m-me?" he asked, pointing at himself, "yeah... yeah, namjoon."

the man laughed to himself ever so slightly, looking down and then back up at joon.

"you're awfully quiet," he said, "what did you think about the reading passage?"

namjoon just blinked a few times, a bit taken off guard, before speaking up.

"uhm... i agree, yeah. it was very... raw," he said, saying the first thing that came to his mind.

"raw?" the man asked, "can you expand on that?"

namjoon just cleared his throat.

"well... i mean..."

he was scanning over his notes, flustered.

as seconds ticked by, namjoon just shook his head and shut his notebook, clearly a bit frustrated.

"i didn't love it," he said, bluntly, "if... if i'm being honest. it wasn't for me."

the student squinted at him from across the table.

"it's written by one of the greatest authors in the world. what could you possibly dislike about it?"

namjoon was silent for a moment, before speaking up.

"i don't know... it just... it felt a little bit unrealistic, i suppose," he said, "it felt a bit... forced."

the man snorted at him.

"forced? it's called love, namjoon," he said, "because of the undying love that alexander had for the girl.., he sacrificed everything to be with her... to stay by her side. it's not... unrealistic. it's romantic.., it's unconditional."

suddenly, the look in namjoon's eyes changed slightly. his fear and anxiety faded slightly and he spoke up, almost lashing out at the other,

"well, sometimes," namjoon started, "you can love someone unconditionally... you can invest everything into them... and things still don't pan out the way you want them to. life is not some... fairytale. it's never that simple. there's always going to be something in the way. there's always going to be some... darkness that comes in... even with those who hold so much light. even in situations that are so pure and... genuine. it always ends eventually."