Random Thoughts

We live it anyway

Whenever someone asks me why
I pursue a degree that is anything but me,
I always knew that I gave up
my very essence of gaining knowledge
just to fall victim to the capitalist system that I despised,
yet somehow cannot live without.

By being with the flow,
I realized that I can reach my dreams
while still being financially independent.
The path I went with isn't wrong,
practically and realistically speaking.

But then I realized that life itself does not allow me a peaceful life.
Right now, I could just raise my middle finger to the world
and scream whatever the fuck I want.
I could go against the expectations,
and just live a quiet life while sipping coffee from a mug
I got as a birthday memorabilla.

A life where I could just be contented with what I have
And earn just enough to keep me well-fed.
Because how is it any different from the life I want,
one where I can dine in the finest restaurants,
one where I can see the world with these bespectacled eyes,
when life will end up throwing any challenge it can give me
despite running away from it?

I ran, gave up the things I love most
just to ensure that in the end,
I'll live a life unconstrained by the boundaries of heirarchy.
We will live a life free from all the things we hated.

But life's a bitch, apparently.
Conflicts, twists, challenges, life doesn't run out of it
Fortunately and unfortunately, it's an unending cycle
It just doesn't end no matter how much we cry about it,
no matter how much we hate it,
and beg for it to stop tormenting us.

But we live it anyway,
for the sake of feeling it.