Moonlight Love

2

"There are some things we need to discuss," Margot told me after we had dinner, we were sitting on the couch drinking coffee and listening to the crickets outside. "But it can wait until after your mom's funeral tomorrow."

"Why after?" I asked her curiously. "I mean, why not now?"

Margot tapped her cup with her fingernail. "It'll be a lot to take in, I don't want you to feel even more overwhelmed."

"Then why bring it up now?" I chuckled.

Margot shook her head at herself. "Mostly so I remember to talk to you about. It's my personal way of remembering things."

"Well, at least you have a system," I laughed. "Should I be worried?"

"I don't think so," she murmured, now clearly in her own thoughts. I waited for her to go on after seeming so ominous. "It's nothing to worry about right now."

"You know I'm twenty, right? All I do is worry."

Now Margot laughed. "What do you have to worry about? You're still young! God, I wish I was that young again."

"No, you don't," I groaned. "I worry about what I'll be doing with my life, if I'll find someone right for me, what I'm going to do about money. It's nothing but stress right now."

"All in good time, honey, all in good time."

I resisted another groan. "You sound like dad."

"Your dad isn't wrong," Margot told me kindly. "Your twenties is all about finding yourself. For some that can be hard, but it's a process that can do you some good."

A part of me didn't believe her. I was afraid I would always stress about what I'll do in life, specifically what I'm meant to do, because I still haven't figured it out. I was still living with my dad, working at his job as a receptionist because I could never figure out what to major in in college. It didn't help that my dating life was a disaster. All of the men I dated seemed boring, or too full of themselves, or just like something was missing.

"Well, we should get to bed. Tomorrow will be a long day," Margot said, standing up and stretching her arms above her head. "Goodnight, Haven."

"'Night," I said to her retreating back.

Aunt Margot was right, the day was already long. After we both woke up and tried to eat breakfast, we got ready in silence. Margot in her room, me in mine, both of us going so slowly, as if we were both having the same thought. Maybe if we took our time, maybe if we didn't talk about it, then maybe it wouldn't be real. Maybe my mom would break the silence, however she did that now, and welcome me back home.

I slipped on my high heels, the clicking of my heels breaking the silence as I took a look around the house. My mom was alive just last week, she could have been doing what I am now, walking around the house in silence, pondering her life choices. She had no idea she was going to die in a car crash, just like I had no idea that the next time I would see her would be in a coffin.

"You ready to go?" Margot asked me from behind.

I ran a nervous hand down the front of my dress. My little black dress, one I would wear on dates, the only one I had. "As ready as I'll ever be."

We drove in Aunt Margot's car in silence. It turns out that I wouldn't see my mom in her coffin, Aunt Margot told me that the crash was brutal, and the end result was not how I'd want to remember my mom. While I was expecting to feel sad by this, I felt relief. It had been a few years since I saw my mom, after I graduated high school, I was busy trying to find a life, and she was busy with her business (what it was, she never told me). I didn't want to see my mom after so long lying dead in a coffin and ready to be buried.