Finding Forever

Chapter 9

The next few weeks pass in a blur of assignments, strong coffee, and late nights studying from the comfort of my bedroom. I've been so preoccupied with school and, alternatively, Liam that I've seen very little of Ryan.

Liam's been occupying all the free time I can give someone. I've taken him on trolleys through the city to visit iconic places like Fisherman's Wharf, Alcatraz Island and Lombard Street. He's been charming and kind, and even though we are taking things slow, I think there may be more than friendship blossoming between us.

Usually, I wouldn't let a guy take up so much of my time, but his panty-dropping smile and big blue eyes make it impossible to say no when he asks me to hang out.

He's also been a great distraction. My mother's deteriorating mental health has been an unbearable weight on my shoulders. She's taken another leave of absence from her job. I am constantly checking in with her to make sure she's attending her therapist appointments and ensuring her medication is adjusted correctly. I haven't told Liam anything about my family, and I don't plan to let him in soon. It's been hard to deal with what's been going on when I'm stuck here in San Francisco trying to ace all my classes and focus on my future, knowing she isn't doing well.

Educationally, I'm kicking butt and studying my ass off. My grades are exactly where I want them to be, and I've been sketching and painting in my spare time to prepare for tonight's university art show. After much deliberation and Maisie's input, I settled on a few of my older paintings to showcase, and I also updated my portfolio with a couple of newer paintings.

The University picked an excellent location for the art show, an updated, bright space on the waterfront, nestled between a trendy Italian restaurant and a sports pub.

The place is impressive, and I can tell this even without the gathering crowd or the arrival of the other selected artists while Maisie helps me hang and display my paintings. I arrived fifteen minutes earlier than I had expected. My nerves are shot, and my entire body feels jittery, including my rapid heartbeat. Putting my art on display for everyone is a big deal for me. Only the people closest to me - like Ryan and Maisie - have seen my paintings and illustrations. I'm incredibly nervous about Liam stopping by after his bartending shift at Hennessey. Something about Liam seeing my artwork for the first time is unsettling. It's probably because it makes me vulnerable. And I don't like to be vulnerable. But I also know I have to put myself out there if I plan on making art my future.

I started sketching and painting at a young age. It was an outlet to escape from my parent's constant arguing. I'd lock myself in my bedroom, pull out a paper pad, and sketch these beautiful scenic places I imagined I lived in instead of my dysfunctional home. All the noise would drown out around me, and it would just be me and my drawings in the new world I created on the canvas before me. My love for sketching and painting didn't stop the older I became. It grew into something I knew I would always need to have in my life. It is what led me to San Francisco for the Graphic Design program. 

"There," Maisie says, levelling one of my favourite paintings. A scenic abstract of my hometown in Yachats, Oregon. She takes a step back and admires it briefly before turning to face me. "I love the colours in this painting. I can't even draw a stick figure, yet somehow you manage to turn an Oregon skyline into a masterpiece."

I shrug. "Everybody has their talents. I wish I had your fashion sense. You can wear anything and make it look trendy."

Catching Maisie's eye from where she stands several feet away, I can tell she enjoys my compliment. And I didn't just say it to be friendly; it's true. Maisie should have her fashion blog.

Her smile perks up. "But that's not nearly as cool as being an artist... and don't forget an accomplished ballet dancer."

"You are talented too, baby." Jayce appears and slides his arms around Maisie's waist, kissing her neck. "You give an amazing blow job," he whispers in her ear.