Growing Pains

islands

I hung out with your best friend last night.

I remember the sweetness of her company and the shades of brown in her hair, the fact that it got late,
but she didn't care

I remember the drive with her, from my house to the beach,
The topics covered in my car,
the truth so close
but out of reach

It was just a windy Friday night,
but it was calm
and it felt right.

And I remember the walk with her across the water,
through wind and so much sand
I wondered how deeply I would ever know her,
and how much I'd understand

And I remember standing on that hill
of swaying grass,
That steady hum of the Sea
in front of me
Loud and desperate in the dark
Forming and breaking like my heart

And then she asked about you
And she called me out
And somewhere in the midst of my doubt
I wondered if this was her
bringing you into my world

Offering,
like there was some ridiculous possibility
we would be possible

And somewhere in the middle of that island,
The last of the light leaving
I saw the outline of her face
Contemplating but patient,
Listening
and waiting

And so I faced the possibility of You,
And didn't want to believe
it could be true

And I told her that I couldn't do it,
That at some point ,
I knew you'd dissapear
And that was always
my biggest fear

But I was stuck on these islands
And it was just her and the wind
And the sea,
And her subtle suggestions
Of what could be

And she didn't know the plans for your
Life
But had no doubt
You'd take a wife

And there on that island
All I could think about was You
And if we only ever stayed friends,
Could I really make it through
If I never told the truth