Sunshine and Lilly

Chapter One: You Can't Cuddle Parakeets

"Happy Birthday, my darling, here's your gift!" my mother smiled and placed a shiny red apple in front of me.
It's been ten years and she still is the best at gifting.
Every Mother's Day, I give her a beautifully yellow banana, and on my special day, I receive a juicy apple.
It all started when I was five and couldn't think of a better gift than to improvise with the fruit basket in the kitchen. Mum thought it was hilarious and inventive, she gave me a kiss and hug and said, "why thank you, my darling. I've been meaning to up my potassium." I could barely pronounce the word at the end but her giddy smile made the idea of banana gifting seem like discovering what was in Pandora's box. That year Mum gave me an apple for my birthday and promised to push back my check up for that month to the next. She said that was two gifts in one but now the tradition is fully well established and here we are today.

My fifteenth birthday is today on this gloomy, drenched Thursday, and here I am chomping away at a Cameo and listening to the beautifully greying woman in front of me. Her aqua-blue eyes alight with enthusiasm and humor as she relates the conversation she had with a client, who just so happens to be my uncle. "So I told him, Mr. Smith, you cannot cuddle the parakeet, its feathers will bend and the poor thing might suffocate. He looked at me like I was telling him to run off a bridge," she laughs. Mum is a vet at a local pet care center. She has always been an animal lover. Our two sheep, cow, burrow of rabbits and pen of chickens can attest to my mother's overwhelming compassion for farmyard creatures.

We also have three cats, Mully, Hilly, and Hermy and a Labrador named Pilly. I could barely say anything at the age of two when we got the kittens and my mum just decided to name them whatever silly word came out my mouth that day. After the cats, we got Pill, and since we already had a 'y' thing going on, it just fit.
Growing up with the love and entertainment of a small zoo has thought me many things. Don't leave your new and expensive night slippers in the kitchen, they will be torn to shreds. And unless you want to chase a chicken around for three hours, don't forget to lock the pen gate. Needless to say Becky, one of our layers, has kept me quite fit over the years.
"I don't blame Mr. Smith. You know I love Perry. She's so fluffy and you just want to squeeeeze her tight", I wrap my arms around my shoulders and rock side to side. Mum shakes her head and laughs.

"Maybe, but I was telling him about Milly. She's about to drop any day now. He could adopt one of the kittens. Some more company in the house. I know he's a bit lonely since Leanne," she smiles sadly.
Mr. Smith and Aunty Leanne were high school sweethearts. Love at first fight, she'd told me when I visited her after her first chemo session. When I'd asked for the story with giddy abandon for Mr. Smith's scowl from his cemented place next to Aunt Leanne's bed, she sighed and looked to her husband.
"First fight, because your aunt here was a goody two shoes in the ole days. Never got into trouble. Not a mark on her card. Nothing to complain about, always perfect. I'd known her all through high school and I'd gotten a bit bored of the good girl routine, I mean, I had detention almost every week and this girl was making it look easy being the prettiest thing with the good behavior and grades. I'd been crushing on her since that first day of  class. I made sure to get the seat right behind her too." he smiles proudly at my grinning face and then sighs wistfully and looks up with a smirk and his peppered moustache at my softly smiling aunt, while I stay seated at the foot side of her bed, my hands idly massaging her swollen feet. "So, at senior prom, I mustered the whole bad boy energy and traipsed right on up to her. I was so smug, I was sure she'd take me in her arms and we'd dance until she lost her shoes. I mean after all those years, my reputation preceded me and no one would turn down ole Johnny Boy," his thumb points to himself.

"Well someone did," my aunt lightly laughs. She looks at me, while grasping tightly onto Mr. Smith's hand. "There I was, in my corner of the dance floor, swaying to the King's rock and roll and this 'gentleman' comes up to me, all poised and refined in his denim jacket and Levi's. I'm dumbstruck. Of course, I'd heard the rumors. Who hadn't? Johnny Smith, bad boy, heartbreaker, carefree soul with a Harley. Well, I didn't know what to say. All flustered and confused as to why he talking to me, but I didn't let it show. You never let it show. Calm as cucumber over ice," her breath wheezes into a cough and my uncle's expression shifts from happy nostalgia to fearful reality. He stands up to get the oxygen mask to her nose, gently placing and soothingly rubbing up and down her arms, he repeatedly assures her.
"Maybe we'll finish the story another time, Lill, okay?" He'd said with a sad tight smile and I'd nodded in reply, but my aunt shakes her head.
"I'm fine, my love," she said quietly. Holding my uncle's hand securely again. "Let's finish the story," she turns to look at me and beckons me to her other side. I sit at her side and she smiles lightly and clears her throat, "So, he comes up to me, fiddling with his oversized thumbs and says the one liner that started everything... tell her Johnny boy," she turns to him.
My uncle hesitates but seeing the gleam in my aunt's eyes and the joy amidst this dark time, he looks up from her and continues the story, "I said, in my best Elvis impression possible, 'hey there good looking, pretty lady. How's about we dance and I'll give you ride on Jackie," he bursts out laughing and my aunt is laughing lightly too, while I snicker. "I'm a great impersonator, aren't I?" He recovers from his laughter. "Anyway, Jackie is my motorcycle and I don't think Leanne here got that and my tone was a bit demanding so she said, 'Why would I want a piggy back ride from you? I don't know you and I am perfectly fine dancing on my own... by the way that voice is ridiculous, disrespect to Mr. Presley is disrespect to me,' she was all red in the face and livid. I didn't think my impression was that bad but apparently it was. I left that prom confused at the rejection and now scarred from all things Elvis Presley, but also absolutely determined to get the girl. Call it infatuation maybe, but I was in love. It was the sparkle in her eyes as she told me off and her little waist as it swayed away from me."
He looks to my aunt and reaches to swipe his finger along her hairline.
"Well not scarred, we did go to Graceland on our second wedding anniversary," she notes. "He tried and tried. Fought and fought. I finally gave in one year later, after graduation but sometimes I wish I'd just danced with him that night. We would have had more time," she sniffles and smiles sadly.

We spent that day making sure Aunt Leanne was comfortable. I kept her company while she rested and Mr. Smith upsettingly spoke with doctors. We spent that day unknowingly giving her some of the last hugs and kisses we'd ever get the pleasure and honor of having before she'd pass a week later.

"....Lilly" I can't help but feel her absence today. She was like an older sister to me, as she was younger than Mum and we would always go out shopping and get our hair done on my birthday.
"... Lill?" It's difficult losing someone. No matter the relation. Once you've loved them, that love never fades fully. The pain doesn't go away.
"Lilly....." I could only imagine how Mr. Smith must feel. My uncle has lost the love of his life and must continue to live his with the company of a fluffy parakeet. It's not fair. Love shouldn't die. It's so wonderful, it shouldn't die.
"Solaris Lilly Avante!"my mother yells at me, bringing me out of my daze. I look up at her with wide eyes and a shocked expression. My eyebrows shaking hands with my hairline. I look at her questioningly. "I have been calling your name since you finished that apple. Al just called. Him and Em are picking up the cheesecake. They'll be here soon. Where did you go?"she walks around the island to pat my hair, having seen my glossy eyes.

"I miss her. I always miss her but especially today. I.. I wish she was here too," a tear descends my left cheek and my mother hugs my head to her chest from my place on the kitchen stool. I know it's not easy for anyone. It's been two years now but it all hurts the same as the day the doctors said the haunting words no family ever wants to hear, "we did everything we could."

"I know my darling. I know. She would have been making apple pies already with the bushel I bought this morning," my mother sighs and runs her fingers through my hair. "She would have had Bobby Vinton and Eta James on the loudest, singing with the cinnamon sticks," she laughs as we both remember the many times Aunt and Uncle singing 'Sunday Love' to me with little pieces of spicy bark as their microphones. "She would have devoured half the cheesecake, after smearing a slice on Al's cheeks, which of course she'd pinch," yes, my aunt had an affinity to my best friend Al's chubby cheeks, that are now more defined but still rosy peaks that call for my fingers. She told me to never stop pinching them. They got along great. She really was a big sister to everyone. "She would have spoilt you with the new shoes you've been eyeing since Spring and I would have scolded her while you hugged her and ran off to do a catwalk with them on," her tone softens and she loses her cheery recollection. Moving back to stand straight, she keeps my face in her hands, and tucks an auburn strand of hair behind my ear. "She would have told me to leave her be, because you are her niece and she never had kids, so I had to share you," she smiles sadly, "She would have said, there's no limit to how much love a person can get, and that if she wanted to show her love through new shoes, then I should let her, a girl's most trusted friend is a pair of good shoes Lorry. You know this, you got like a million, and she'd laugh," her tears fall gently and she shakes her head. "I miss her too Lilly. But you know that she loves you, wherever she is now, looking down. She's given you memories to hold onto at times like this. It will get easier my darling. It will," she kisses my forehead and hugs me tightly again. I am so grateful for my mum. She's so strong, even after losing her parents and sister. She lost my father too. I never knew him. She never spoke about him, but I know it pains her to think about. She's so strong. We stay embraced for a little while, rocking back and forth until my best friends come running in.

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