free falling

Milo colvard

My life has never been perfect... My mother would drink and drink until she passed out. I would then have to take care of her.
My father left my mother when I was very young he couldn't put up with her attitude and drinking problems. Raben , my older brother couldn't care less about me. I've tried to form a bond between us but he doesn't care after all he's my half brother.
I'm so jealous he has the perfect life ; he has dads attention and a loving mother he has a nice house and many friends... Something I would never have.

When I look in the mirror I'm reminded of how ordinary I look.           I've never had a girlfriend or have done anything remotely romantic. Sure I've had crushes but I never confessed because they would surely say no.
I'm doing good in school a 4.0! I thought that would be good news to share with my mother but she rolled her eyes and said she expected that and if it went any lower she would beat me.
My happiness of my grades faded I looked at the paper and tossed it aside.... After all it's nothing to be proud of.

My mother would always leave me at the house by myself when I was younger, I learned how to cook myself food in the microwave when I was hungry.
She would come home late at night with a new guy Everytime they became so hard to keep track of I would just call them skip because soon enough she would get tired of them and replace them.
There was one guy in particular that I will remember, I think his name was Brian. He did dip and drunk but he wasn't a mean guy. He watched me draw and we watched movies together. Sometimes he would stay with me when my mom left for work at night so I wouldn't be alone. I mean I was used to being alone at night but his company was nice. We would rock out to 90's rock bands and have a great time.

Until.... He found out about the other guys.

Brian wasn't a violent guy but he snapped that day.
Me and my mom were visiting her other boyfriend during Christmas and when we came back that night our house was burning.
                   Brian was on the ground being held by our neighbor while his wife was on the phone with 911. I looked into Brian's eyes and we stared at each other for a second but he turned his head and looked the other way. The cops eventually showed up and they arrested him. He was sent to jail for arson.
I didn't find out how much jail time he was sentenced to but I think he's out now.

Other than setting our house on fire Brian was a cool guy.

My dad chose not to take me and my mom in because his wife was uncomfortable with us so we had to move in with my grandma. She is nice to me but the problem was my mom hates her guts.
They would always bicker and fight everyday.
Remember how I told you she is a drunk well my mom and grandma got physical and my mom was sent to jail for a couple of days. It wasn't anything new that she went to jail so it was fine ; my grandma felt guilty and she paid the fine to get her out.
Even with her face bruise up and her other injuries she still cares for her daughter.

I for one am so disappointed in her.

It didn't take long for my mom to find another guy and this time he was a jerk. Unlike Brian he was violent from the start he hit me and my mom everyday.
That piece of shit.

His name was Micheal.
The man beat us everyday and guess what my mom did... She married the guy!

The man beats you everyday and you marry him?

Whatever I guess. After three years they divorced.
We eventually found a house for us even though it was small it could work. Now that it was just me and my mom she focused all of her attention on me.
I remember one time she abandoned me at the side of the road because she said I disrespected her the other day so she told me to walk home and think about what I had done.
I was 13 at the time.. Who leaves there 13 year old son on the side of the road miles away from home?
After walking for awhile I made it home but she was waiting for me and then she started beating me with her fist and whatever was in her reach.
I hate my mom but I also love her at the same time. I would never wish death on her but sometimes I get so angry at her.
But she's my mom after all.
Meanwhile my half brother has loving parents and he has no worry's at all. He gets C's and D's but he doesn't get beat for it meanwhile I have all A's and I never even get a congratulations. My father doesn't look at me, my mother hates me ,and my brother ignores my existence.

What an unfortunate life.