[UNDECIDED]

Chapter 3- Espresso Beans

I didn't return to Asteri. Instead, I found myself in the confines of my room, staring out the window. Watching as dark clouds slowly rolled in, matching the turn in my mood.

Minutes ticked by, the clock sound three-thirty as rain began to splatter against the glass. And yet I stayed, curled up on the window seat. Watching the rain fall in torrents as it so often did. The beauty I usually found in rain muted and dull, what little passion I had found in anything drained from me completely. Only the words my mother had uttered rang loud and clear in my ears, filling whatever void that was my soul. It really shouldn't have mattered to me what she had meant, but it did.

And if I was being honest, it hurt.

It hurt to think that she wished that I had died. For whatever had happened...she wished it had been me to pay the price. I didn't know who this Seth person was, nor did I know what on earth she was talking about, but....In a way, it made since. I had always found something off with the way things were, the way people looked at me. Not just because I was an absolute menace to society, no...there was something else. Something no one was telling me. A secret my mother so desperately did not want me to know.

But if she didn't want me to know, how could she have been so careless? Unless she really did not think me so immature as to linger at closed doors...

I sighed, running a hand through my bangs. It shouldn't have bothered me. I knew it shouldn't have. Ever since I could remember, I knew that I wasn't want. That I could never truly belong. Or ever truly be the son my mother had wanted. I never would be able to live up to her standards. Which was why I had decided to make my own goals, make my own standards. Create a world out of the empire she had built, and expand it to horizons she couldn't even begin to imagine.

But of course, good things come to those who wait. I knew that like in all things, I would have to be patient if I were ever to succeed in my revenge.

Even if it means destroying myself in the process...

A soft knock jerked me out of my thoughts, returning me to the somber abode of my chambers; a world cast in splashes of gray.

I thought about not answering, but instead I rose, making my way to the door. Grasping the key still stuck in the lock, I took several moments to steady myself, to rein in the sorrow that I never wished to show to anyone. To become to cruel husky of a person I chose to show to just about everyone else. Before twisting the key in the lock, carefully opening the door to reveal whatever lie behind the solid panel.

Fortunately, it was only Asteri, his smiling face lighting up the room like a billion stars. Casting a light that cut through the darkness of my broken soul. In that moment, I could not fathom how truly happy I was to see him. A moment of true joy just from seeing his face. Making want nothing but to throw my arms around him and let him hold me like he used to.

"Hey," Asteri suddenly shyed away, his gaze falling to his toes. "Uhm...I— I woulda come by earlier but...uh..I-I figured you probably wanted some space after your mom since you didn't come back and..." He gulped. "Maybe— Maybe actually I should go—"

"No." I answered too quickly, causing Asteri to jump, his eyes swiftly meeting mine.

"What?"

"Stay." My mouth gave him the ghost of a smile I had once reserved only for him. "Please. I really don't mind. I could probably use the company anyway."

I didn't miss the excitement in Asteri's face as he slipped inside. My smile brightening as I turned away to lock the door, quickly schooling my features once more before turning back to face him.