Mine

Hugs Can Be Different Just Like Coffee Beans..

I couldn’t stop twisting my fingers . White coats running all over the place , nauseating "hospital smell" didn’t help a bit . It was making me hard to breathe.

I was looking at the milk latte I am holding in my other hand. They are so different . I couldn’t help but to compare. If he is a cheerful sunflower , the other would be a freezing snowflake . But I like snow. It's just, something I don't know how to explain, I just feel that way.... Is it okay to feel that way?

“Awww I am sorry na nong Fourth, nurse Pond literally shoved me with a patient on the last minute, did you wait long?.” Always so polite and kind. But now it doesn’t make my heart skip beats?

“Mechai phi, I am sorry for bothering you to come here , I know how busy you are”

“Aww nong no, I am glad to see your beautiful face nah, it makes me less tired"

“T-this is for you phi”

"Aww my favourite..."

He took a seat next to me , offering me the sweetest smile. But it made me sad, it's painful to see now.

“So how are you doing nong, are you specially here to see me or-"

“Chai khub, I - I want to t-talk to you"

He put his coffee on the stoney table infront of us .

“Oh, you have the answer" he was excited.

My heart sank to my stomach.
Will he smile the same after hearing me? I want to disappear, I want him to forget me, I want us to be strangers, so I don't have to hurt him. How I wish he didn’t confess his feelings at the first place …but I don’t want to make him wait . He doesn’t deserve that, he doesn’t deserve the pain. But it’s not him . No matter how gentle his gestures, sweetest words, kindest smiles couldn’t make it. It’s... It's just not him . I feel terrible, I felt like I was about to commit a crime.

Phi Phuwin’s loud sigh made me return from my trance .
"Um , nong , don’t think too much , just say it already, I think I know your answer .” His voice sounds disappointed ….if there’s anything beyond worse , I felt that.

"Y-o-u k-n-ow h-how  I lo-st m-y ho-pe t-to li-ve p-phi, b-but y-o-u m-a-de m-me f-e-el n-no-rm-al. T-ha-n-k y-ou p-hi, t-ha-n-k y-o-u f-o-r ev-er-yt-h-i-ng, b-but I - I- I..."

I couldn’t finish the rest, it was too much for me, I felt the taste of blood in my throat. I wanted to jump off the roof top we are on.

(Being confessed by the person who gave you the hope to live is the best feeling a person could ever ask for . On top of that if he is your crush as well.... But not being able to reciprocate those precious feelings is the worst thing that could ever happen to that same person .)

"Aww it hurts a little , but I get you nong, that’s okay , it’s okay to reject, don’t feel guilty na, we are still friends."

"I am sorry phi, please don't hate me."

I couldn't stop the tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't stop the loud sobs either.

"Aww nong , it’s okay ,I am not gonna leave you as my precious nong , but I may need some time, I am glad you told me this."

"Thank you phi . I am sorry for making you feel terrible,"

I waied him apologetically.

"Aww come here na nong, let me give you a hug na, it's okay."

(The hug was displayed in the mirror wall of the building. But the silhouette of the two hugging figures were too beautiful to look at. The pain was hidden. It was only inside of the two hearts. But for two different reasons.)

Gemini's POV

I took little steps without making any noise to prank him. Only then I noticed the painful gaze on him stroking munmuang's head, his favourite cat in the nursery.  The little boy was completely oblivious to my presence behind him. Today is not for the little talks I had in my mind.

I made soundly steps not to startle him and reached him from the behind.
"Aww munmuang do you know what happened to your papa's pretty eyes? Did you scratch him? Don't be stubborn na...." I knew I had to calm him down first.

"P-phi ge-mi-ni" he turned his head towards me only to be met with my eyes inches apart. I could clearly see the tear stains now. I started caressing the swollen pretty cheeks.

"What happened nong fot fot?" I was already starting to come up with a second plan in case he refused to answer.

"I-I m-et p-hi Phu-win, phi" something definitely broke inside me. I knew we had to talk about it eventually . But I wish I could postpone the feeling of being the loser for a while. Guess not.

"I r-ej-ect-ed h-i-m, I-I h-u-rt hi-m." my dropping head was shot up with the newly born reply. Hope was growing inside me. I knew it was rude to feel content. But I am human after all. I couldn't stop being selfish for him. To make him mine.

I had thousand questions to ask, but they can wait. He comes first.

"Oh! So you feel guilty for rejecting his feelings, right?
He slowly nodded his head.
" Come here na, let me give you a hug! "
He slowly placed his whole body weight between my arms. I tightened my arms around his small torso smoothing his back. He seems to get relaxed, which made me smile.

We stayed there for minutes. The warm silence was comforting.

" I want to take you somewhere, I promise you will feel good, shall we go nong?"

After a few seconds of silence finally he gave a light nod to me.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
Hi lovelies,
It's been a while❤️