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Tw:suicidal thoughts 



"Aww , is my baby still sleepy ?" I tickle under Charlie's chin , lifting him out of the crib and sitting him on my hip . He rests his head on my shoulder, sucking on his clear paci. I take him over to the change table and quickly get to changing him into a pull up ,i take the brown overalls which were discarded for nap time, and put them on him .

Charlie whines and kicks making it harder for me, I wait for him to stop. He stops and curls up closing his eyes , I let out a small chuckle . "You can't sleep now baby " I pat his back  , he whines as I pick him back up and walk out the room.

"Did you have a good nap Charlie?" Mum asks tidying some of Charlie's toys away , he yawns making his paci fall and hang  from the clip ,Mum laughs as I push the strand of hair away from Charlie's face.

"Are you feeling okay to eat , char?" He nods and I strap him into the high chair giving him a sippy with water . I take a plastic plate off the the side and was about to set it on the tray "oh wow , you're really really tired " I say gently lifting Charlie's head off the tray , he whines as I do so .

"Mum ?!"

"Yes dear?"

"How long until dad and David are here ?"

"Well David should be here around five, so in about three and a half hours "

I nod and look back at Charlie , I sigh "do you think I should let him sleep a little longer?" Mum shrugs "he does look exhausted " I lift Charlie back out and carry him over to the rocker , I set him down switching the rocking mode on and covering him with a fluffy star blanket.

I nod and look back at Charlie , I sigh "do you think I should let him sleep a little longer?" Mum shrugs "he does look exhausted " I lift Charlie back out and carry him over to the rocker , I set him down switching the rocking mode on and coverin...

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I kiss his forehead and switch on the the music. "How are you feeling about today, Nicky?" Mum asks sliding the glass door open for Nellie "um, I don't know I guess I'm just worrying about Charlie " she hums "well just don't push your feelings away for Charlie" I sigh.

I need to move Charlie's toys up to our bedroom so dad won't see them, I say dad because I know for a fact David will somehow end up in my room, luckily we got locks installed so Charlie won't escape, Charlie also can't reach these locks.

I didn't really want to move all the toys upstairs but Charlie did , he had a panic attack last night saying every 'what if ' he could think of at the time. Thankfully mum had put all the toys in their boxes or baskets which means they'll be easier to transfer upstairs, I take the first basket filled with soft toys up to the bedroom, placing it down in the corner of the room.

I repeat with the other baskets and boxes except for the box filled with interactive toys, one wrong move and Charlie's awake. "You moving out or something?" Mum chuckles coming into the living room holding a pile of folded clothes "kinda " I look around the room, the only things left are Charlie's playpen his highchair in the kitchen, his rocker , his bouncer and random sippy cups and pacis .

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