Love me or leave me.

Second chance?

Readers Pov:

Every fibre of my being was screaming at me to say yes, to run into Farah's arms, to kiss her, to take her into my small bedroom and make love to her, that of course is what my heart was telling me to do, however I had to listen to my head and not my heart.

My head was telling me, that before I give Farah the second chance she was asking for, she was going to have to prove to me that things would change between us and not just go back to the way there use to be, I wouldn't be able to handle that, yes, she is here and that is a start.

As she comes closer to me, I could see how tired she truly looked, not just the dark circles underneath her eyes, her face looked drained, has she been having trouble sleeping? had I haunted her dreams like she had haunted mine? Seeing her looking like this made my heart hurt, suddenly I get the urge to pull her into my arms and make it all better, however Farah has always had that effect on me, I needed to stay strong, especially if we were to have any kind of a future together, realising that neither one of us had spoken for a very long time, I look at Farah and realise she was allowing me time to think this through, that was one of the many things I loved about Farah, she always gave me the time I needed to think, to work things out in my mind, taking a sharp inhale, before asking my question.

"You coming here, means so much to me Farah and that does work in your favour, however I need reassurances that if I give you a second chance, if I come home, things are going to change between us, that we are not just going to fall back into the same routine as before, I mean you say you want to spend your life with me, but every time I told you I loved you, you never said it back to me, not once, do you know how much it hurt me? that was one of the reasons I left, how could I possibly remain in a relationship with someone who doesn't love me? Were you ashamed of me? Was that the reason you wanted to keep me a secret?"  there it was all out there, I had said it, I just finally let Farah know just how deeply she had hurt me, I know Farah isn't cruel, she might have not even been aware of how she had been hurting me.

"You have every right to be upset and angry with me, I let you down in the worst possible way, I let myself down..." Farah pulled her lips into a thin line for a moment, before speaking again, "In your letter you said you wanted us to one day marry, have a family, live in a cottage, to take care of each other, am going to be completely honest with you right now, I owe it to you, I owe it to myself, am not ready to get married and start a family yet, maybe one day,,, however I am ready for us to live together, if you do come back with me, and I really hope you do, I want you to move into my suite, only temporary," Farah stopped talking as she put my letter back into her bag and pulled out a large envelope, handing it to me.

"What's this?" I ask as I take out the contents, it was a listing for a cottage in Alfea.

"It's a cottage, about twenty-minute drive from the school, I know it's a little run down, but I thought we could fix it up together, make it a home," Farah tells me with a ghost of a smile on her face.

"You brought us a cottage?" I asked not quite believing this was happening, that this was real, maybe I was asleep that this was nothing but some kind of wonderful dream.

"I haven't brought it yet, I want us to buy it together, I know I make more then you at the moment, however I did the maths, and we can afford to buy that cottage and do it up, things will change I promise," Farah tells me, I look at the cottage again in my hands.

"I cannot believe you did this," I feel overwhelmed by it all.

"Before you say yes, there is just one more thing, I need to explain, this will be difficult for me, so please be patient," Farah pauses for a moment to get her thoughts in order, I give her the times she needs, just like she had done with me earlier, "In your letter, you told me you are hopelessly in love with me, that I cannot love you back, that isn't true, am also hopelessly in love with you and am so sorry, I never said the words, the first time you told me you loved me, oh god I wanted to say it back so badly, I really did, unfortunately the words got caught in my throat, in your letter you also said that sometimes you thought you saw love in my eyes, you were seeing the love I have for you in my eyes, you also stated that I would do something that made you believe I loved you, and it's true, I couldn't say the words so I did this instead,,, It would work better if you told me you love me," Farah says with hope in her eyes.