ᎢᎻᎡᎬᎬ

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I paced around my room, waiting for Brandon to come.

This wasn't going to work. My brothers are totally going to find out and by that time, they won't ever let me outside the walls of our house ever again. I wish that one of my brothers would just walk through the front door right now so I could finally relax and just stay home.

I went over to my mirror, checking one last time one how it looked. I was wearing a light blue dress that landed just above my knees and my black hair was slightly curled, adding personality to my otherwise dull look.

Suddenly, my phone beeped and I ran over, my hands shaking from the nervousness.

You can come out now.
~Brandon

I smiled at my text message and sent him one back quickly.

Ok, I'll be there in a second.

I grabbed my bag then ran out the door, slipping my heels on in the process. Outside, I saw Brandon leaning on his new Toyota car, smirking up at me.

"Hey!" He screamed, jumping into the driver seat of the car.

"With that volume of talking, you'll wake up the whole neighborhood!" I scolded him, but he just shrugged and started the car.

"Don't be so worried," He reached for my hands and I saw him flinch as he made contact with my cold hands, "It'll be alright."

"I know, but how about if they decide to come home early tonight?" I whispered, looking out the window.

"Don't worry about it, I've got your back." He stated off into the darkness of the road, concentrating on driving.

***

When we reached the house, the party was already in full swing. The music was blasted and there was garbage and debris everywhere. I followed behind Brandon through the door and after one good bye, he parted away from me and to some of his guy friends.

Ugh, what was I supposed to do now?

I so didn't belong here...

Everyone here was 'popular' while I was probably he most hated girl in the school. Nobody liked me because I was really close with Brandon, the school's hottest guy. In a way, you could say that they were jealous, but they were also greedy, they wanted what I've always had.

I met Brandon in first grade, everyone thought it was cute back then, him being nice to me, the new kid at school. But then as our relationship grew and we became friends, that's when everyone started hating me.

They always adored Brandon, even after he's rejected dozens of girls. But I was totally a different story, I wasn't a gorgeous God like Brandon. The only girl that's ever not hated me was Jessica because she was never interested in Brandon anyways.

My mind started to move back to the thoughts of the modeling deal. I only had two weeks left to decide now.

The only thing that was really bothering me was that if I agreed with the modeling deal, I would have to skip school for a few a months, but I would also get a personally tutor to help me catch up on school work. My brothers just let me make the final decision, they all just said that if it doesn't effect my school work, then it was okay with them.

I haven't told any of my friends yet, I didn't want them freaking out for nothing or even forcing me into this, I wanted to choose this for myself.

I took a sip of my fruit punch, still deep in thought. What would all the other kids say about me? Would they act fake friends towards me, or hate me even more?

There were too many things I had to consider and my head was just about to burst open after five minutes of intense thinking. Thinking that I should take a break and just enjoy the fun, I went over to the food table and took some cookies then went to the dance floor.

Forgetting about everything that was going on in the moment right now, I danced to the rhythm of the music. I felt so free at that moment, like there were no worries in life right now. As the music got louder, I dropped onto the ground, swaying my hair back and forth. I didn't care right now if anyone saw me, all that mattered was that I was having fun.

After about another minute, people, especially guys started walking towards me, watching me dance the night away. Some even started clapping for me and I danced even more and more wildly as more people gathered around me.

As soon as the music stopped, I got up and walked swiftly to the bathroom before anyone could see who I really was.

What had I just done? When I was dancing, it felt so right, but now? It felt so embarrassing, like I was just singing in front of everyone instead of dancing.

As soon as I opened the bathroom door, I saw two people. At first, my first reaction was to swiftly close the door, but as I stared longer, something felt so... wrong.

A flirtatious giggle.
A long sigh.
A warm whisper.

Brandon's piercing face was unmistakable to recognize, especially after years of knowing him. How many times have I seen him in the dim lighting of my room? I've always known that every girl was after him, but it's far different knowing it then experiencing it in real life.

Brandon had Lindsey, the schools biggest slut and also my worst enemy, pinned up against the small walls of the bathroom. His hands were tangled in her long, luscious blonde hair and her dress was riding more and more higher as I just stood there and watched.

I expected Brandon to just stop automatically and shake her off of him, but that never happened. Instead I watched as their kiss grew deeper and deeper.

I was frozen to the ground, my whole body motionless. I wanted to scream, to tell her to get off of him, but I couldn't. He wasn't mine.
Almost in a flash, I saw his eyes peek up at me, like he knew I was there all along.

I wanted to run away, to scream, to cry, but I couldn't. Instead I stood there, gaping at both of them. Brandon and I just merely stood there, staring at each other while Lindsey drew kisses all over his shoulders.

I expected him to stop immediately, seeing me there, staring at him. But instead, I watched as he reclaimed her lips, all the while he was staring straight into my eyes.

I could feel as part of my heart started to break, to crack open. And the pain is what finally snapped me awake.

I walked away and when I was finally out of sight, I ran all the way to the front door, not caring if people saw me crying. The tears that I've saved up for too long now, finally escaped my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

Maybe I trusted him too much. He was my best friend and I told him everything that anyone knew about me, well maybe except one thing but nobody knows about that one, except my brothers.

I trusted him only to let him break it in the end. I tried to control the flow of my tears, but they wouldn't stop.

My heart was broken by him.
My best friend.
My crush.
And my human diary.

What ever this hurt and anger feeling was from, it felt like a my heart was ripped out of me and shot, killing me. Drowning me down into a world of sadness. I could feel all of my memories of him, of us sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks. One thing I knew for sure was that he broke me, shattered my heart, and was stretching the limits of our friendship all together.

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