silver lining ⇢ chensung

neuf

the next morning dawned on the two, with chenle waking up first to see jisung embracing him in his hands, never to let go. trying to squirm out of the taller's ever-strengthening grip, chenle halted his endeavours as he let out a faltering sigh as the voices resumed in his ears, its breathy voices moving closer and further away like the waves of the seaside. trying to tune them out but to no avail, he nudged the sleeping male half-heartedly.

"wake up, sungie! the sun's already shining!" hope brimming in his heart, chenle mustered the happiest voice possible. his chants and nudges grew more and more frantic as thoughts raced in his head while jisung was still asleep, when a sudden thunderclap of a thought made him stop in his tracks.

it felt as if everything blurred around the black-haired boy, morphing into an incomprehensible grey mess, blind to the drapes of the morning sun despite being able to see them. a greatly disfigured face a woman lit up through the smoky ephialtes, screaming into the abyss yet he felt as if he was pulled back into the past.

"no, n-no...what is happening...." chenle could barely stutter out his worries as he clutched his head, trying to beckon the woman to come back. hands shrinking, his vision blurred as he was on the verge of breaking down then and there itself.

a sudden blanket of warmth wrapped around chenle's waist as he was pulled out of the measly barren void, a mumbling, hoarse voice now laced with exhaustion rambling random apologies that seemed unintelligible. chenle dared to turn back after his tonic trance, his stiff neck deeming cumbersome to move. a familiar yet blurry silhouette filled half his peripheral vision, and even though it took him a few moments to zone back in, he instinctively turned towards his direction, now grabbing on to the taller like his life depended on it.

"i-i'm so sorry...! i didn't realise you were awake at all....! i'm so sorry, le..." jisung's voice faltered and cracked, his already coarse voice not being able to withstand his pain anymore. short mental phrases purely made of self-loath peppered throughout his mind, now slicing through his frayed reasons to live, blaming himself bitterly at every mistake he made.

"mm...at least y-you're awake now..." a small muffled voice spoke out, a bellowing echo through jisung's constant self-loath, a tiny sliver of happiness despite the conflict he had to endure. "p-please...i'm fine but...i know...i-it's your demons haunting you again..."

"i-it's really nothing...don't worry about it..." jisung cleared his throat as he ran his hand down his spine, his voice still crackling from his inner emotional mess. "a-are you okay though...? y-you...were just..." he trailed off as he could not find it in himself to explain how the smaller was as still as a statue, his eyes lifeless as ever.

"i'm fine..." chenle squirmed in his grasp, pulling his head up to face the taller. longing gleamed in his eyes, as he glanced at jisung in complete dead silence, his lips quivering as that glance slowly turned into a glare, impending frustration slowly taking over him as he expected his non-cooperation for the query he was about to ask, yet a bit of hope itched him to ask anyways. "can i...ask you something, sungie...?"

"what is it?" the taller agreed, now confused.

"y-you're always there to keep my problems at bay....but you never tell me what's your problem..." chenle pouted as he fidgeted with his fingers, a frown scrunching his forehead. "didn't i promise last night to be there for you as well...?"