I walked into school with the feeling of dread in my stomach. I hated it here, ever since everyone turned their back on me. Even my brothers had turned their backs on me. It was heartbreaking to find them talking behind my back at dinner when I saw mom and dad were not there.
I walked towards my locker, feeling slightly dizzy doing so, to get my books for the class I would have. Not that it's going to matter much. See I have this plan, I'm going to kill myself today.
I wonder what everyone would think when they found out I killed myself. Would they feel regret? Sympathy? Probably none of those, they would probably feel disgusted and hatred towards me.
My locker door shut all of a sudden right in front of my face. I extracted my hand quickly from my locker before it got slammed.
"Hey loser." Cole said beside me.
He was the one that made my family hate me. See we as siblings keep secrets from our parents. If you snitch to mom and dad they will hold a grudge for at least a week.
"What do you want Cole?" I said slightly pissed at the thought of my family.
Trying to open my locker up again Cole put his hand down hard on the locker door.
"Can you just let me get my books so I can go to class?" I said in an emotionless voice
He stared into my eyes confused. I assume he expected me to yell at him. His grip loosened on my locker door so I could finally open it.
I quickly grabbed my books so I could get out of this awkward situation, and I turned around to see my siblings and Jackie staring at me like I murdered their brother. Well I guess that is going to happen to me. I am going to kill myself today.
I walked past Cole getting the usual whispers as I walked along the hallway making my way to class.
You get used to the whispers after a while. I should probably make notes to my family...
But don't they hate me if they are the ones making me think like this?
I don't understand sometimes, how my siblings can't forgive me for accidentally telling dad that Cole has been sleeping with girls.
He apparently told every one of my siblings and Jackie to stay away from me and be cold towards me.
I mean I get one week of that but it's been going on for 4 months. Cole and Isaac have told the whole school that I was a horrendous person and that I shouldn't be associated with. If anyone did they would be dead meat by my brothers and Jackie.
Getting out of my thoughts I stood right in front of my classroom door. This is the class where I had my all my brothers in, and let me tell you it sucked. It once was amazing to joke around with them, but that quickly went down the drain.
I opened the door to the classroom and walked in to see science posters all along the wall. I headed towards my assigned seat, dropped my bag and sat down. Nobody was here yet, so I kinda just sat there thinking of how I was going to kill myself.
Do you think I should do an overdose or should I self harm myself? Maybe both? My sleeve rolled up a little at the thought. I looked at the sleeve to see the bandage soaked with dry blood. I stared at it for a few moments then quickly I realized that the door was opening up so I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve up.
I looked up to see who opened the door. It was some of my brothers and some of their friends. They were laughing and joking around with each other, that used to be us.
I just looked towards the white board, is there any more methods I could do? I could the alcohol poisoning. Mayb-
"Hey Alex what are you doing." Lee said behind me
