Tangled Fates

2. Silent Struggle

In the palpable heaviness that clings to Aliyah's every step as she crosses the threshold of her home, an unsettling and peculiar tingling in her heart presages the ominous fate that awaits her. The prospect of impending marriage transforms into a labyrinth of conflicting emotions, each step echoing with the weight of her apprehensions.

Deep within, Aliyah craves companionship, yearning for someone to unravel the intricacies of her scars and understand the battles she fights in solitude. Yet, a haunting fear lingers—that Rami Adam, seemingly flawless and untainted, might recoil upon discovering her imperfections.
What if he discovers her flaws and hates her too, like she hate her very own self, what if he finds about the battles she fights and somewhat makes alive out of them, will he really still accept her or will he too regret for choosing her.
Does Rami really want someone like her in his life? She knows she is going to get panic attacks tonight again. But all she's worried about is Rami's life, she doesn't want him to destroy his future by accepting her as his better half.
The night unfolds as a tapestry of worries, with Aliyah's imagination conjuring scenarios where Rami, discovering her flaws, regrets entwining his fate with hers.

As the moon casts its glow on her turbulent thoughts,
"Aliya, glad you are home already. Here your in-laws send sweets for you."
Aliyah is abruptly yanked back to reality by the warm embrace of her father's voice. The arrival of sweets from her prospective in-laws intensifies her sense of guilt, weaving a narrative where she becomes the unwitting architect of Rami's potential ruin.

"Dad, please understand. I'm not ready for marriage; let me first find stability," pleads Aliyah, her voice a delicate tremor.
Yet, her mother, descending the stairs with an air of finality, dismisses her plea, asserting that the decision has been made, saying ,
"Young lady, we've already given them our answer—yes. So, forget these useless thoughts and focus on becoming a good wife.'"
Aliyah is caught in the crossfire between her yearnings and the inexorable expectations thrust upon her.

Seated beside her father, Aliyah's desperation spills forth. "Dad, you've always called me your princess, your cheetah. I don't want to get married now; please, Dad, hear me out this one last time." Tear-stained eyes lock with her father's, who, while gently wiping away her tears, grapples with the heart-wrenching necessity of the decision for her future.

"My lovely princess, it's not about hearing you out for the last time. As your parents, our decisions are driven by unwavering love for you," he reassures. "At twenty-one, it's time to set your life on a fulfilling course. Rami will love you for being you, just as we do. You're not a thorn; you're a resilient dandelion, waiting to be cherished."

"Dad, you guys have always spoiled me with your love, what if he doesn't love me the same? What if he starts to hate me for having all the habits like boys? Riding, being out at night till late and all?"

"Aliyah, we've already said yes, and now you've to make up your mind. Till when are you going to run away from this decision like this? I'm sure my little princess will not let us down, she will make us proud again."

Aliyah's hushed whisper, barely audible in the stillness of the room, echoes with a mix of determination and trepidation, "I hope I do make you both proud again." With that, she retreats to the sanctuary of her room, the heaviness of her heart palpable in the quiet closing of the door.

As she settles into her bed, the darkness becomes a canvas for the tumultuous thoughts that torment her. Tossing and turning, Aliyah finds no solace in the embrace of sleep. The fear of being exposed, of her imperfections laid bare, wraps around her like an unrelenting shroud.

Then, in the silent depths of the night, a whispered mantra escapes her lips, "No, No, not again." The air thickens as her breath quickens, and an invisible weight presses down on her chest. In the solitude of her room, Aliyah grapples with the claws of a panic attack tightening around her.

Beads of sweat form on her forehead, and her trembling hands seek a grip on reality. She fights battles unseen, with no armor but her own resilience. The room, once a refuge, now witnesses a silent struggle as Aliyah battles the shadows that threaten to engulf her.

Yet, in the adjacent rooms, oblivious to the tempest within their daughter, Aliyah's family remains in blissful slumber. The walls hold the echoes of her stifled gasps and the soft pleas for respite, but her battles remain concealed, a solitary war waged in the stillness of the night.

She reaches her hand within her pillow cover, takes out her sleeping pills and relays on them to sleep.

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Will Aliyah really make it till the morning?
Will she cancel the wedding?
Will her parents find about her panic attacks?