Stay.
When I share the bad news with you, does it reduce my unhappiness?
It exponentially increases yours. You need to share it with someone. The listener takes it to heart. Now we are three unhappy ones.
But, how do I keep to myself? If it reduces my pain, even smidges, I am tempted to take that chance. I wish we could color feelings to see how they spread. We could see where they end and dissipate. If ever at all. I mostly wish they had somewhere to call home and someone who won't want to chase them away. If you send them away onto the next recipient, willing or unwilling, they intensify. It doesn't work.
Here I am sitting next to the window, feeling bad for having bad feelings. The outdoors seem so open, so welcoming. I want to go out.
If feelings could speak, they would assure me they do no harm. They are in actuality- good for me! It doesn't feel good.
I pick up the phone:
-Something happened. Can we talk?
You reply, cheerful and receptive. You wouldn't be so, if you knew what I am sending your way. My unwanted and unmanaged feelings.
-Yes. Of course. I am always here for you.
... the call drops. I hung up.
Sitting by the window, I tell them. I tell me:
-Don't go. I am always here for you.
I don't want to chase parts of myself away anymore.
I choose to stay in.
YOU ARE READING
Short Stories
SpiritualA series of hopeful/ hopeless short stories about our inner universe and the challenges we can't escape from.
