Love Letters And Cigarettes

Chapter Two

Winnie looked around Augustine's closet, holding a broom in his hands. It was really dusty up there, and he didn't want him or Augustine to get sick.

Augustine was going through some old boxes, looking through stuff to see if any of it was stuff he wanted to keep.
He found a few old things that belonged to his dad, an old uniform, skates, and a locket. Just stuff like that.

They were all from years ago, and were things he knew his dad wanted to keep.

Augustine looked back at Winnie, watching as he swept the dust away. He didn't see the point in him sweeping, it was an attic, it was supposed to be dusty.

"Why are you sweeping again?" Augustine asked, pushing the box with his dad's things to the side, as he grabbed a different one.
"So we don't get sick! Inhaling dust can make you sick, and cause several issues." Winnie explained, smiling brightly.

Augustine just looked at him, and blinked.

"Okay then.. can you at least get rid of the spiders while you're at it?" He asked, tilting his head slightly. Winnie hummed, and placed a hand against his cheek like he normally did whenever he was thinking. Or pretending to think.

"Nope!" Winnie said, smiling brightly as he went back to sweeping, making sure to avoid all the spider webs that had inhabitants.
He was terrified of spiders, but he wasn't going to evict them from their homes.

"Wha- are you serious right now?" Augustine asked, an annoyed look on his face. "Completely." Winnie said, chuckling softly.

Augustine groaned in frustration, and went back to looking through the boxes. He knew if he tried to argue with Winnie he'd lose, so what was the point really?
He couldn't say no to Winnie.

Winnie hummed quietly as he continued to sweep, moving all the dust into a pile in the corner of the attic, where he could collect it all later.
While he was sweeping the dust to the corner, he noticed a small box tucked away behind a pillar. He knew he shouldn't, but it was hidden away from the other boxes, and Augustine wasn't looking..

It couldn't hurt to check, could it?

Winnie quietly set the broom down against the dust corner, and went over to the hidden box. He knelt down beside it, and checked it to see if it was labeled.

The only thing on it was a heart, drawn on using a red sharpie. It looked pretty messy, and the box seemed to be quite old from the dust and holes in it, so Winnie guessed the heart was drawn on by Augustine when he was younger.

It definitely looked like his art style from when they were kids.

Winnie glanced over at Augustine, who was distracted looking through the other boxes. Winnie took a deep breath, and opened the box, which didn't have any tape whatsoever keeping it sealed.

His eyes widened, and his heart skipped a beat at what he saw.

The box was filled with letters, letters Winnie was all too familiar with, letters that he had written.

The box was filled with his love letters. The letters he'd written every Valentine's Day, just to send to Augustine. Just to get his feelings out, without having to be faced with rejection.
Augustine had kept them, for whatever reason he had kept every single one of them.

Winnie hesitantly reached into the box, and pulled one of the letters out at random.

It was the fifth one he'd written, and had his actual feelings written down. Winnie remembered how nervous he was when writing this, which explained why the handwriting was so messy.

'Dear Augustine,

I know all my other letters to you were just simple Valentine's, but this one isn't. Because I love you.'

It was short and stupid, but still the first letter where Winnie had managed to write his feelings down.
He almost didn't send it, out of fear Augustine would know it was from him. He always has that fear though, which was especially strong this year when he sent his last letter.

It was explicit, sure, but was obviously about sexual desires. Desires that Winnie was extremely ashamed of.

Augustine was his best friend after all, he shouldn't be having feelings like that about him, it was messed up.

Winnie quickly set the letter back into the box, trying to shake his thoughts away quickly. He didn't want to think about how much he wanted Augustine, and how disgusting his thoughts could get.

He hated himself so much for liking Augustine, for loving him. He didn't want to feel like this, because it felt wrong.

It felt wrong for him to feel attracted to guys in general, especially Augustine. He always knew he liked guys, but he never realized what it meant till he was thirteen, and had realized his feelings for Augustine.

He wished he didn't like guys at all, he wished he could just be normal and like women, but the thought of dating one made him feel sick.

Suddenly Augustine appeared out of nowhere, and kicked the box away from Winnie, startling him.

"Don't look through that!" Augustine exclaimed, his face a bright red with embarrassment. Winnie looked up at him, his cheeks flushed red.

He wanted to tell him he was the one who wrote them, but he knew he shouldn't, that would basically be like suicide!

"I-im sorry.. I uhh.. was just curious and-" Winnie started, looking away from Augustine. He felt so ashamed.
"Don't go through my stuff!" Augustine said, sounding a bit upset. Nobody was supposed to see those letters besides Augustine, they were literally meant for his eyes only.

"Right, I'm sorry Auggie.." Winnie said, standing up. He didn't look at Augustine, he didn't want to look at him.
He felt like the moment he looked at him, would be the moment he spilled his guts out to him about how he felt.

He didn't want that to happen.

Augustine took a deep breath, and sighed. "It's fine.. just please don't- look through that box.. like, ever." He said, crossing his arms.
Winnie nodded, still not looking at him. "Alright.." He said, his voice much quieter than usual.

Augustine noticed this, and suddenly the annoyance he felt from Winnie going through his stuff was gone, and replaced by worry for his friend.
"Hey.. are you okay?" He asked, reaching out to place a hand against Winnie's shoulder. Winnie stepped back, and glanced at him slightly.

"Y-yeah I'm fine.. I'm just uhh.. going to step outside for a bit, it really is dusty here.." He said, quickly walking over to the stairs that lead out of the attic.

Before Augustine could say anything in protest, Winnie left.