ADDICT

Prologue

"Can you grab me another nail?" Beau called down. He stood on top of their table, the last framed photo in hand. Aiden glanced up from the old sewing kit that was now filled with all of his grandma's old photos. Xander had finally cleared out the house, and that included his grandmother's old room and belongings. Aiden had gladly taken what he could.

"Yeah." He handed his fiance another nail and watched as he hung the last photo Aiden had picked out. This one was of Aiden, his brothers, and their grandma standing outside at a powwow. Xander was decked out in his regalia from the few years in middle school he used to dance while Micah and Aiden both still had their hair long. Aiden couldn't have been much older than six or seven at the time.

"I love them," Beau happily announced as he climbed down. "I like having some of your family's stuff up too," Aiden slowly nodded in agreement. Before, the wall had been full of photos from Shelby. She was always a very family-oriented person, which in many ways was healing for Aiden. In others, it just made him sad that he never got to experience that sort of thing himself.

"You were such a dork." Beau's laugh cut through his thoughts as he held a small photo in hand. Aiden internally groaned and walked over to see what was behind the wide grin on Beau's face when his internal groan quickly became external.

"Fuck off" Aiden scoffed. His face flushed a little as he spotted his younger self standing amongst a few neighborhood kids on Halloween. Aiden had gone as Harry Potter that year and even had the round black glasses that were too big for his face. "Like you never liked Harry Potter"

"Nope, my mom read something about Harry Potter being anti-Christian and I wasn't allowed to read them" Beau shrugged. He paused for a bit, flipping through the photos and smiling a little at some of them. "I wish we had met back then. I would've loved to go to prom with you" Beau sighed as he found the photos from Aiden's Junior prom.

His eyebrows creased together and he gently pulled the photo away from Beau. He stared at it for a while trying to remember when he had ever gone to a prom. Olive was in his arms and on one side of them were Roman and Gray embracing. On the other, were Sage and Edward posing together back to back. He knew it had to be Junior year because he was with Olive and the fact that he couldn't remember it just confirmed it. Toward the end of that year he hadn't spent a moment awake and sober.

His heart felt heavy for a few moments as he thought of all of the memories he'd never get back. Some were probably for the better, others he wished he could have just sobered up long enough for the important moments. Hell, he couldn't even remember a funeral he had gone to.

"I'm glad we met when we did" Aiden decided. "I don't think you would have liked me much... I honestly was so out of it at that point I don't even remember going to this" Beau fell silent as he thought for a little bit before he collected the photos and put them back into the sewing kit.

"You don't talk about it much" he carefully admitted. "I wish you would... But I don't want to push"

Aiden fell silent for a little while, contemplating whether it would be worth it to tell him. On one hand, Aiden had grown and had been sober for a few years now. He had changed and was a better person, or at least he liked to think he was. And Beau probably deserved to know all of Aiden before they got married. On the other, he couldn't help having a small fear that Beau would find out something about Aiden he couldn't forgive. He finally sighed and sat down on the couch of their apartment, deciding on a compromise.

"I'm not proud of it" He admitted. "But if you have any questions I'll answer them" Beau was hesitant as he sat beside Aiden, but he nodded anyways.

"How... How did it start?" he finally asked.

"I guess I kinda just grew up around it... My parents were both addicts and we kinda just all had our own responses. Xander became a man at thirteen, Micah realized just how much money mom was spending and became a dealer himself and I... Well, I tried to be like Xander. I tried weed when I was around thirteen with Micah. That much was fine... But when I started dating Sebastian. I started smoking a lot after everything started happening. One day, Edward said he wanted to try something stronger so we did" Aiden paused before smiling a little. "Edward kept at it because it was fun. We even met Roman and Gray through it all and would hang out by getting high off our asses and doing stupid shit... But I think I actually became an addict when I started doing it on my own too... Just to forget for a little while"

Beau slowly nodded along, taking in every word Aiden had to say. Aiden always liked that about him, how he could listen like Aiden was the only thing that mattered.

"What was it like?"

"Freeing" Aiden honestly admitted. "I used a lot of benzos at the time and just about anything I could get my hands on... They didn't make me happy but they brought a sort of calm to me. They helped numb whatever I was feeling and sometimes even replaced it with a more euphoric feeling" He decided before hesitating a moment longer. "Other days it was different. If I wasn't micro dosing to get through the day I was taking a lot more to just escape reality. I was either on cloud nine, a superhero that was unstoppable. That, or I was erratic and so, so angry" he emphasized.

"What would you say your rock bottom was?" Beau asked, this time much more hesitant. His soft, pale hand reached out, gently carressing his and even relaxing Aiden a little. Aiden fell silent for a while before he finally sighed and relaxed against the couch.

"Will you still marry me after I tell you?" Aiden asked. A bright smile erupted onto Beau's face as he quickly tightened his grip.

"I'm in love with you and who you are now. There are very few things you could do to make me feel otherwise and I don't think you're capable of reaching that point" Beau promised. Aiden sighed before quickly nodding.

"Okay... The first thing you have to understand is that I had been using for two years at that point and was consistently blacking out for days at a time. I had just gotten out of rehab after overdosing and wasn't really at a point in my life where I was trying to get better. I had just broken up with Sebastian and was starting to see Olive. I think I was honestly trying to kill myself..." Aiden admitted. "I had started upping my doses and hadn't really coped with anything that had happened. I was unbelievably and rightfully angry at the world and nobody really knew how to get through to me" Guilt pooled in his chest as he forced out the next few words.  "And in the process, I hurt a lot of people,