Ice Princess

Chapter 5

In the morning, when the servants brought her breakfast to the room as usual, it was very apparent that she had been crying although her red-rimmed eyes were now dry. It made them nervous, afraid of her wrath, but Lilith was uncharacteristically very cordial to them that morning. The girl who placed her breakfast tray in front of her flinched when Lilith spoke, even though it was only to say, "Thank you." The lady's maids were all surprised to hear it. It was the first time she had ever thanked any of them.

Lilith had much to think about after the fight with Elian last night. It had not once occurred to her that he could reject her, that he would not want her. She had taken for granted all his efforts to get to know her, and had never given a thought that all her rebuffs would eventually have consequences. How stupid of her, really, she thought to herself. Elian was a man, after all, and she had even failed to perform even the one wifely duty that was expected of her.

Maybe now it was too late. He hadn't come back to the room last night. Had he gone to the room of another? Was there someone else that had drawn his interest? Elian was always so noble and proper, she had never given it a thought that he might be unfaithful to her. Before yesterday she would have never thought him capable of something so improper, but then she had seen a different side of him last night. And of course she wasn't that naive, she knew how royalty could be. She had certainly heard the rumors regarding her own father, and seen the servant children running the castle halls that shared the exact same shade of blue eyes as she and her father did.

What surprised her even more was how much the thought of Elian taking another lover hurt her. He was her husband, so she supposed it was natural to feel that way. And maybe now she could finally admit to herself that somehow, unbeknownst to her, he had wormed his way into her heart a little. That after all the time they had spent together she wasn't really as indifferent to him as she pretended to be. And that was a terrifying thought to her. She really had no idea what to do with such feelings.

But she knew that she did not want her marriage to be annulled, and so she would have to try to make amends somehow. This really was a good prospect for her. If her marriage was annulled, she would not be accepted back in Merak without shame and dishonor. And if that was the case, she was unlikely to ever find another to marry who was as kind to her as Elian was and had such a lovely kingdom as Capella. Maybe she could finally allow herself to like this place.

She would have no choice but to take her wounded pride and do something totally uncharacteristic of her. She would have to apologize to Elian.

Right after breakfast, she sought him out. One of the palace servants told her that she could find him out on the grounds behind the palace, training. It was eerily quiet as she walked toward the place the man had pointed out to her. The wind felt strange, almost charged with electricity, as it whirled around her in strange circular fashion, sweeping her hair into the air and giving her goosebumps. Then she spotted Elian. He was alone, just beyond some large shade trees.

His back was to her and he was still partially obstructed by the trees, so he hadn't noticed her approach yet. And then she was suddenly startled by a strange whooshing sound. Just then she could have sworn she saw a large pillar of earth shoot into the air as if in an explosion. She blinked quickly, stunned, but just as quickly the sight was gone, as if she had imagined it. She wondered briefly if she had. Closer now to him as she was, Elian turned around, seemingly surprised to see her.

He was wearing training clothing, sweat dripped from his brow and his face was slightly flushed from exertion. Lilith had never seen him dressed this way before. In fact, she never knew the Capellans participated in any sort of military training activities at all. She had never seen any sort of army at all in the kingdom, which she had always found odd. But she supposed that Elian was very fit in his lean but muscular way, so it wasn't too surprising that he would engage in training of some sort. Strange still, that he would train out here all alone. She wondered what exactly he had been doing.

But she didn't have time to wonder for very long as Elian watched her expectantly. She cleared her throat nervously.

"I came to tell you that I do not wish to have our marriage annulled," Lilith stated.

Elian gave pause for only a moment.

"Oh."

It only just now occurred to Lilith that maybe this wasn't the answer he had been hoping to hear from her. Maybe he had already made up his mind that he wanted the annulment. Maybe he truly wished to be rid of her already. Elian was watching her thoughtfully, and for once he was the one of the two of them that was silent, so Lilith continued, wishing she could rid her voice of the slight tremor as she spoke.

"I know my behavior has been...less than desirable. I can do better."

Elian nodded slowly, and for a moment she braced herself to have him send her away. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, looking down at his feet.

"Capella is your home now. Tell me, Lilith, do you really think you can be happy here?" He looked up at her now.

Lilith nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. "Yes, I do. Capella is a fine kingdom."

It was strange to see the princess before him looking suddenly so vulnerable. It was as if some of her iciness had melted away, giving him a tiny glimpse of the girl beneath. Elian took a step forward and put a finger under her chin to gently lift her face so that he could meet her eyes.

"I haven't seen you smile once since you arrived in our lands," he said seriously.

She gave him a quick, perfunctory smile that lacked sincerity. It looked out of place on her face, and Elian met it with a serious expression.

"Is it me that you find so displeasing?" Elian asked her in a low voice.

Her eyes widened a fraction at this.

"No. no, of course not!"

He nodded silently again, and Lilith finally realized how much her behavior had truly affected him. He had been hurt by her continual rebuffs when he had been nothing but kind to her this entire time.

"Y- you'll come back to our room tonight, won't you?" She stammered.

"I will," he affirmed.

An awkward silence passed between them before Elian said, "I'll walk you back to the palace."

They walked side by side silently, and when Eilan offered her his arm, she took it without hesitation. Lilith now felt a nervousness being in his presence that she hadn't felt before, and she was suddenly very self-conscious. She wished she could be more conversational, like Elian was, but she could think of nothing to say. For once Elian was silent too. She only hoped their silence was companionable.

He walked her to the palace doors, where he took her hand and kissed it.

"I can only hope that one day you will be able to smile at me and mean it," he said, a touch morosely, before he turned and left her, heading back toward the training grounds.

Lilith's hand tingled where his lips had touched it. And why, suddenly, did she feel as if her heart had skipped a beat?