The Detective and the Heir of Hairgel - Drarry/Ron x Theo

6. Weasley In The Bathroom

(author's note: please don't question my naming and song choices regarding these chapters. just listen to the sweet sound of existential dread that matches lyrically to the theme of this chapter. i'm already losing my mind, just follow me down the rabbit hole 🤗)

After I get back to the dormitory common room, I fill Draco in on all of it. He's as shocked by this turn of events as I am. "So, what you're saying is that... Weasley's a better kisser than you?"

I pause for a second before realising it. "Fuck, he totally is!"

"You can't have him out on the streets if you're looking to score," Draco jokes, and I punch his arm. He whines. "Ow! Arsehole."

"Wait, but you know what this means, don't you?" I exclaim, and Draco raises an eyebrow.

"What? That you're less of a top than you thought you were?"

    "No, you absolute wanker," I say exasperatedly, and he chuckles as I continue. "It means that the plan is totally going to work! Weasley already got to first base with me, and he's the more romantically thick one. You've got it easier, you just have to be-"

    "Not a dickbag," he says, becoming excited as well despite the remark he'd just made. "Hell, even that might not be necessary. I think my impertinence is a turn-on for Potter."

    "See, that's the spirit," I say, high-fiving him. "Things are going according to plan. How did things go with you and Potter, by the way?"

    "Oh, not bad," he says, thinking a little. "We've got to go to Hogsmeade next visiting time, though."

    "That won't be a problem," I proclaim. "We just have to be model students for-" I count how many days there are until Hogsmeade day on my fingers- "three days. You think you can handle that?"

    "Only if you can," he returns, and we share a nod.

"Tomorrow morning, let's trail them to classes again. We have to make them as fond of us as we can before Hogsmeade, so they'll be more willing to talk with us in a public place."

    He agrees, and we both head to bed.

***

    With a certain amount of natural luck, I discover that my first class - History of Magic - has Weasley sitting right at my table. After slipping a few spare Galleons to a few miscellaneous pupils, I've managed to be sitting right next to him as well. The only hindrance standing between my and the brash object of my affections is-

    "Professor Binns!"

    No, not him.

Hermione Granger, the girl who just screamed the professor's name, who sits directly to the left of Mr. Ronald Weasley, and who has notoriously been the only girl to ever capture his eye (if you're not counting Padma Patil, which I don't think anyone is, even Padma herself). To be fair to her, she's not bad-looking, though I'd never mention that to Draco. Her only flaw - which is, unfortunately, also a strength - is that she's a fucking know-it-all. No wonder Weasley sits next to her in class. She probably shouts test answers in her sleep.

    The permanently disgruntled History teacher turns to address the aforementioned Granger, adjusting his glasses slightly. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

    I slip in next to Weasley, keeping myself unnoticed as an unperturbed Granger asks her question. "Are we going to be covering the witch hunts today?"

    "Yes, Miss Granger, I believe we are," Binns huffs, and I can tell he's gearing up for a lecture. "Please take your seat so I can begin. Now, in 1428..."