𝕱𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕿𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖓𝖘

Chapter Three **

      I stare at the wall. My eyes burning and my face is hot. Trista had dropped off my dress a few minutes ago. I'll wait a few before I put it on. I don't care. The burn in my heart is becoming suffocating. I consider praying Yggdrasil, or Freyja. I will never make it to Valhalla, maybe Hell. At least I'll be dead. Away, not a problem anymore. Odin will eventually take those who die in battle. I won't I'm a princess with a weakened heart. Only needed for friendship. Used. Abused. I'm pretty sure Veryz prays to Loki every day, I wouldn't deny it, how much mischief he has caused. I finally chose to get up. My head is being delirious, praying to Gods who haven't acknowledged us in centuries. I got out of bed. Grabbing the beautiful gown, that at least is a little bit more like a chainse. It's a beautiful dark blue, with large sleeves that reach down to the waist. The hems on the dress are embroidered with gold. My hair is still done in the half-up half-down bun. I fixed it a little bit. I look dead. Great, maybe the Empress and Emperor will change their minds. Unlikely, but still worth a shot. Though, I see more flowers sprout in my hair. Which will surely make the prince aroused. I don't even know his name and I'm blushing at myself. I shake my head. Brushing my hands down my skirt. I repeat the rules my father told me a few years ago. "You don't deserve feelings. Or even a life. So, give me a reason to let you keep breathing. Listen, work, and never ever question me. Don't make me permanently take that voice away from you." I shudder, walking towards my door. I open it. The dinner is happening in a few minutes, Trista wraps her elbow around mine. Her face calm and collected. Meanwhile, I feel nauseous. Fear gripping me tightly. But mostly anger. Anger that I have to distinguish before it gets me hurt. The banquet hall is near the throne room, so it isn't too far from my room. I see Veryz and Angus entering the large room from one of the doors, laughing, having a great time. Trista leaves me at the entrance. And I look in the mirror right next to one of the paintings. My face returned to its natural beauty. My light tan still there, my lashes long and my cheeks and lips rosy. I'm slightly angry. I take a deep breath and walk into the banquet hall. My jaw drops when I see the crowds of people here. Emma is talking to Veryz, and my mother and Father are already seated at the table. I am sure all the press is here because I recognize most of them. But I see two people seated next to my mother and father. Everything about them is serious, yet beautiful. They have power radiating from them, and I am sure that they are the Emperor and Empress. I walk over to Emma and tap her shoulder. She faces me and smiles. "Hi!" Veryz rolls his eyes and walks over to where Angus and Barrett are talking. I flick my gaze back to Emma. "I'm freaking out." I state clearly. She blinks. "Why? Don't all girls dream of marrying a prince, let alone the son of an Emperor?" I bite my lip, "but I don't even know what he looks like, or what he acts like!" I wrap my arms around my stomach. The nausea is coming back to me. She takes hold of my shoulders. "Aiyana Sonya Martinez. You are beautiful, you are strong. Plus, I met him a bit ago, he is very dapper, and he seems sweet. You're fine." I filter the words through my head, repeating them. Trying to believe them. I gulp. "Okay," I manage to choke out without gagging. "Now," Emma says. "Let's go grab some food and see who can eat the most crumpets and honey." I laugh and she runs over to the table, my fears gone for a bit. I follow. Maybe Emma's right, maybe this won't be too bad... I run up next to her, and grab a crumpet, pouring honey on it and staring at her. Her eyes narrow and she grabs a plate, putting four on and pouring honey. I gape at her. "I guess you weren't joking." I say, glancing back at the Emperor and Empress. I suppress a shiver. Yeanid is in the desert. No ocean. Just dry land. Most have slightly upturned eyes, and sharper features. They have a deep tan, and bright blue eyes. I return my thoughts to Emma. My eyes widen at the empty plate she has in her hands. "You lost." she states with a smug smile. I roll my eyes. "Did you really expect me to win?" She shrugs. "There's a first for everything." Her words ring in my head. You can go two ways with this... And my head chose the side that made goose bumps spread on my skin. I'm about to say something but someone tapped the crystal glass. I turn my head to see my father. The guests go sit at some of the tables, others turn towards him. His eyes flick to mine. And I turn away. Don't mess this up. He seems to say. I hope I will. Is what I want to snap, but that would result in a punishment I haven't lived through yet. Emma grabs my hand and pulls me towards the table, where my brothers are still being seated. I sit down, and Emma sits down next to me tapping my shoulder. I look at her and she mouths, You're fine. Wow. Very reassuring. I look around. Veryz is sitting next to me. Erick is next to him... I look in front of me. A man. Probably the prince is in front of me. Tanned skin, sharp jawline. Emma was right. He is handsome. But I still don't want to marry someone I hardly know. He catches me looking, and I quickly turn away, flustered. My father stands up and announces. "Dinner is served!" He's a stoic king. One who everyone should fear. The Emperor smiles, and maids walk in. Filling our bowls with soup. The table is filled with different types of food. Too the stuffed pig in the middle. I gulp. I'm not very hungry. My father sits down. And I flick my gaze to him. He glares. The burning in my chest intensifies. I grab my spoon. Hands shaking. I stare as a cherry blossom falls from my hair and falls in the middle of the soup. "Is that normal?" I jerk my head up at the sound of a voice. The empress is eyeing me and talking to my father. "Why do flowers form in her hair?" I can tell she wants me too hear her. I grip my spoon harder. Don't say anything. He heaves a dramatic sigh. "I know its unusual. We like to believe its a blessing from Freyja. But we do not know. It's a disease. A disgusting one." He spits the words out. And I know what he means with them. I bite my lip from saying a sharp retort. The ache tightens. The Emperor's nose scrunches. "You're lucky she's beautiful. She has manners, right?" My father nods. "Every last bit of boldness beat out of her." I can tell that the Empress thinks little of me already. Because the ache tightens to the point I can't breathe. You're...You're fine. I tell myself I repeatedly. I can tell the flowers are growing, because I gasp and shoot my hands to my neck where I can feel a thorn pushing through. I try to take deep breaths. Father will kill me if I ruin this. Emma grabs my arm. "Deep breaths, okay?" she whispers. I can't! I try to tell her but she shakes her head. "You can." I nod. Gasping after calmness floods me. I take my hand from my neck. I bite my lip. Still feeling the prince's gaze boring into me. I pick up my spoon. I know I'm not loved by anyone. And the only time the burn in my heart ever loosened, was when Felicie was with me. I don't even know what happened to her. Was she executed? Thrown into prison to rot? I shake my head. You can't cry. Conceal yourself. Don't let them see how weak you are. I repeat the words in my head until I feel calm enough to bring the soup to my mouth. I still can hear my father talking bad about me. About how disgraceful I am. How, uneducated. How...How damaged I am? I turn my head as I hear the words. Anger overcoming my hurt. "What?" The words leave my mouth before I can stop them. I know my father hates me. He hates me. He hates me. He hates me. He hates me. He loves me. I should know this. Stop holding on too this small bit of hope that he may actually praise me. Forgive me. I'm sorry. My father stops talking and faces me. For the first time. He heard me. And he heard me when I yearned to be ignored. Emma sucked in a breath, and it seemed as though the room went silent. Though it still was as loud as ever. My heart thumped in my ears. "You heard me." He says calmly, but I can tell he's seething in anger. What did I do? What did he do? Everything. He did everything. Everything. I did everything. "I'm not a liar, Aiyana. I speak the truth. Would you like to hear?" I start shaking my head. Not wanting the ache to burn even more than it already is. I know how much he hates me. I don't like it when he voices it. Each word echoes in my mind. "Disgusting." he began. "Broken, worthless, selfish, spoiled child. I think your mother has said it before. A waste." He spits each word out like I'm a peasant. Then the Empress joins in, "From what your father has told me. You aren't a good child. Your very lucky I agreed to this arranged marriage or you'd get nowhere in life. But maybe I'll be able to teach you." The words crowd my head and I'm on the verge of tears. The prince stares at his food. I stare at his face. I don't recognize the emotion in his eyes... Sym...Sympathy. Sympathy covers his gaze, and the ache loosens a tad bit. But my chin still quivers. "From what I've learned," the Empress continued, "a child must be broken to fix them." I grip my spoon, and stand up from my chair. This is a mistake! My mind screams. But my heart yearns for me to say it. Wet, small petals fall from my eyes as I scream, "Maybe I am broken! Maybe I am all of those things! I've been broken! I can't be fixed, it's not my fault I was born with this disease! I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry! I'm...I'm sorry." Anger is still burning inside me. A look of horror passes everyone's gaze, but there not looking at me. I won't stop. "I've never felt love from anyone before. I'm still waiting for someone to touch me with love, and not the intention to hurt me! Some call this a gift, but all it is, is a curse! A curse that makes me feel you hatred in my heart. I feel it from all of you, but I love all of you..." my voice cracks, "and, that is why it burns. Oh...Oh it burns so much!" I scream at them, and all the while. Vines and flowers sprout from the walls, crawling towards the table. Slithering past people like snakes. I'm unaware of it though. But I will never regret it. I close my eyes and take a deep, shuddering breath. "Now please, just leave me alone!" The hall is quiet, until loud gasping and choking sounds, make me peek my eyes open. Petals fall from my eyes, and I gasp and stumble back when I see blood squirting from necks. Blood dripping from the table. I put a hand over my mouth as my father is being choked to death my rose vines. Thorns poking into his skin. He tries to scream. They all do. Mother, The Empress, the Emperor. Everyone stares at me in horror. What did I do? I stare at my shaking hands. Veryz stands up stuttering, "Traitor, Trea-treason!" I stumble backwards, falling on my bottom. I get up, still staring at the struggling forms. I watch as the life leaves my father's eyes, but he chokes out one last thing. "Go...Go to Hell." his eyes are filled with hatred, until the life leaves them. And I ran. Oh, Gods, I ran. I ran because my life depended on it. I ran out of the banquet hall. Still hearing the shouts, and screams of people. Vines still followed me. I never knew I could do that before. Maybe I agreed. I should go to Hell. Maybe its where I belong.