iii. the pact - ky

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As time passed and it was just Ava and me left, we found ourselves slouched on the worn-out couch, its cushions sinking under our weight

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As time passed and it was just Ava and me left, we found ourselves slouched on the worn-out couch, its cushions sinking under our weight. The window was cracked open, allowing a gentle breeze to filter into the room at Ava's insistence for some fresh air.

In the background, the glow of a flickering cartoon danced across the TV screen, its colors muted in the dimly lit room. I sniffled, feeling the weight of uncertainty pressing down on me as I leaned my head back against the lumpy pillow, closing my eyes in an attempt to make sense of the chaos swirling around us.

I could hear Ava moving about, likely tidying up my cluttered apartment even though I had already told her it wasn't necessary. But Ava was always stubborn, determined to help even when I insisted otherwise.

Then, with a soft thud, she settled back down beside me on the couch, her gaze fixed on me with a mixture of concern and affection. When I opened my eyes, I was met with those familiar doe-eyes, filled with worry and warmth as they studied my face.

"You hanging in there?" she asked softly, her voice tinged with genuine concern as she reached out to gently brush a stray strand of hair from my forehead. Her touch was gentle, offering a fleeting moment of solace amidst the chaos that seemed to engulf us.

I let out a heavy sigh, the weight of my troubles pressing down on me as I leaned into her touch. "Honestly? Not really," I admitted, forcing a weak chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood. But deep down, I knew there was no escaping the harsh reality of our situation.

Unemployment, financial struggles, and the feeling of everything slipping through my fingers-it all weighed heavily on my mind, casting a shadow over even the simplest moments of respite.

I shifted my gaze away from her, fixating on the cartoon playing on the screen, while I pressed my lips together tightly, attempting to gather my scattered thoughts. Drinking so much, especially in this downward shithole of a mood, had been a mistake.

With a hand pressed to my forehead, I tried to regain focus, desperate to divert my attention from the overwhelming thoughts threatening to engulf me.

But despite my efforts, the weight of my troubles bore down on me relentlessly, refusing to be ignored. I didn't want to burden Ava again with my problems, to retell the story of being scammed and struggling. The exhaustion and resignation gnawed at me incessantly, draining my resolve.

"Hey," Ava's gentle voice broke through my mind, her touch on my arm pulling me from my thoughts. I tensed reflexively, consumed by a wave of guilt. I didn't deserve her concern, not after how I had treated her lately.

I didn't deserve anything, really. Pushing her away for a doomed relationship? It felt like a punch to the gut. And now, with her showing such kindness and care, knowing what I was going through, it only intensified the sting.

Avoiding her gaze, I feared that meeting her eyes would result in uttering something foolish, something selfish. No, I couldn't risk it. But with Ava's soft touch urging me to look at her, I finally mustered the courage to meet her gaze, finding nothing but genuine concern and understanding.

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