Alexithymia

2

I sat at the dining room table and watched as Terrance poured orange juice into two glasses. He placed the glass in front of me and sat down beside me. He opened up the box of pizza and placed a slice in my plate and one in his. Jay and Quincy soon joined us at the table. Quincy sat beside me and Jay sat opposite me.

"Dig in Beyoncé."

Terrance egged on as he took a bite of his slice. I looked down at the pizza and frowned. Terrance had asked me if I had any requests, but I said no. Why didn't I tell him that I hated pineapple on pizza? The thought of it made my stomach turn.

I watched as everyone ate and I slowly took a sip of my orange juice. I really didn't want to seem ungrateful and I truly was hungry. Maybe if I held my breath it would stop me from getting nauseous. I slowly picked up the pizza and brought it to my lips, taking the tiniest of bites. I didn't bite into a pineapple, but my lips touched it. Eww.

"Why are you eating like that?"

I looked over at Quincy and he began laughing. I felt blood rush to my cheeks.

"Quincy! Don't be rude." Terrance scolded.

Quincy stopped giggling, but I could tell he wanted to continue. He bit his lip to stop himself from laughing and grabbed the slice of pizza out of my hand.

"Quincy!" Both Jay and Terrance yelled.

Quincy quickly took off each pineapple and swiftly handed it back to me.

"Quincy you apologise right now! Beyoncé I'm so sorry. He's-"

Terrance cut himself off when he saw me begin to shove the pizza down my throat. I forgot how hungry I was. I only now remembered that I hadn't eaten for the day. As soon as I was done with the first slice, I grabbed another and flicked the pineapples off before stuffing it into my mouth.

"Relax. I could tell she didn't like the pineapples."

Quincy shot me a wink and started eating the pineapples he had taken off of my first slice.

"Beyoncé you don't need to be shy baby girl. You can tell me all about your likes and dislikes. I want you to be comfortable."

Terrance smiled at me sympathetically and I nodded. I couldn't exactly say much because of how stuffed my cheeks were, but I tried to muster up a tight smile.

"So how old is she?"

Chris had entered the dining room and was leaning against the wall. He crossed his arms and swiftly moved his hazel eyes amongst us. Jay and Quincy both kept their eyes on me and I kept mine on Terrance. I still had pizza stuffed in my cheeks. I didn't want to speak so I didn't swallow. I wanted to know if Terrance knew how old I was. I doubt it though. Terrance sighed as he looked at Chris and then shifted his gaze onto me.

"She's fifteen."

I wanted to smile but my cheeks being so fool wouldn't allow me to. I didn't know why I was so happy. He's my father. He's supposed to know my age. It's just that I didn't expect him to know. Should I be happy that he knew my age? This would most likely mean that he knew when I was born. Meaning that he knew of my birth, but still chose to not be present in my life.

Chris scoffed. I snapped my head to look at him and he gave me a look of disgust. What was this guys problem? Just what have I done?

"So just a year younger than Quincy? Terrance you dirty bastard." Chris sung sarcastically.

He walked further into the dining room and sat down in the chair opposite Quincy.

"So Beyoncé, has dad filled you in on the whole family dynamic yet? You must be curious?"