No Body No Crime

August

TW-SUICIDE ATTEMPT VIEWER DISCRETION ON FOLLOWING CHAPTERS.
I grab the gun from the soldiers hand and toss it away from him. The gun in my hand feels like a dead weight and I circle around to be closer to Leah. I start to freak out.
"Are the rest okay?" I demand and John nods his head, a small amount of relief trickles through me but my head is still stuck on the Leah situation. I turn to my uncle.
"John, what do I do?" He looks conflicted. He takes a long time before answering but the soldier I'm holding at gunpoint cuts in.
"I say you kill the bitch." I grunt and push the barrel even further into his skull, I drag him onto his knees.
"You really don't know your place and don't you ever call her a bitch. It would be a shame to kill a human but I would." I give everyone in the room a warning glare.
"The girl is a ticking time bomb it would be better if you just killed her, put her out of her pain." I growl and dig my knee into his back.
"I don't remember asking for your opinion so unless I ask for it, keep it to yourself shitface." My uncle stops our arguing.
"Take her to the watch tower in the woods it's just down the path and you decide what to do. This is Leah isn't it?" I nod.
"Well then give her what she needs, how long you been bit kid?" He directs the last part at Leah and she croaks out an answer.
"Maybe three or so hours." He hums and turns his back on us.
"Well you have roughly an hour or so before you turn, I'll send a group down to check on you in two hours and if you are still there you are welcome back to Hillside." My eyes water.
"But Leah isn't?" Simon shakes his head when John doesn't answer. Fuck.  I slowly circle towards the door with Leah securely behind me. When we exit I start to run from the base. I only know notice the village situated around the base. I grab Leah's hand and tug her towards the car. But she keeps her feet planted.
"What are you doing? We need to get going, they could come after us." Leah shakes her head.
"Take me to the watch tower." She demands but I shake my head.
"Leah I'm not letting you turn." Leah cuts in.
"You heard Simon, a bite means game over there is no cure, I'll turn in the car before we reach the main roads and I'll kill you. I can't put you through that. Take me to the tower." I shake my head again.
"I'm not watching you die without trying to save you." Leah's eyes begin to glaze.
"Ro, you can't save me from this, I want to spend my last hours in your arms so please can you take me to the tower? If you don't I'm not going with you." My eyes are leaking tears and my heart is clenching.
"Okay," I whisper out. Leah nods.
"Okay," we link hands and begin our walk to Leah's death. I squeeze Leah's hand as we make our way through the trees and she glances at me. Her face remains stoic while mine is distraught. I see the outline of the watchtower and freeze up.
"I can't do this Leah, I can't watch you turn into a walker." Leah nods.
"I'm just me, it's just us." I understood what she said immediately. Leah is still human at the minute and she wants to spend her last hour together. When she turns it's not her, she's not my Leah anymore. She wants us to be an us until the end.
I nod once and we continue to approach the watch tower. I let go of Leah's hand and I reach for the metal door. I use the tips of my fingers to pry open the door, the metal screeches and it sounds like it is mourning Leah too. I grunt and pull the door open for her. We begin the climb up the ladder and when we reach the top a blanket is already there. We lay ontop of it and Leah lies in between my legs and rests her head on my chest.
"I need you to kill me Ro." Leah whispers and I breath out.
"I know," Leah turns in my arms.
"You promise you'll do it?" I squeeze my eyes shut and tilt my head back. Why me? Why is my happiness always limited?
"I promise." Leah nods and turns back into her original position we watch the sun travel through the sky and it casts a shine on Leah's face. She starts to shiver.
"You cold?" Leah shakes her head.
"I've been like this since the bite, I think it's just a symptom." I nod and remove my gaze from the sun. I look down on Leah. I slide the pocket knife from my coat pocket and the gun out of my belt. I set them beside us. Leah glances towards them.
"You can't use the gun, it'll draw walkers to Hillside" I sigh.
"It will cause you less pain than the knife." Leah hums.
"I won't feel it by the time I turn. Use the knife." I can't believe I'm talking to Leah about how I'm going to kill her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her but the universe had other plans. Leah starts to shift and groan and I can tell the pain is getting to her. I tighten my grip on her waist and Leah sighs.
"It hurts Ro," I nod and place my lips onto the side of her hair.
"I know baby." I mumble into her hair.
"Tell me about the dream." I let out an unexpected chuckle but more tears spring to my eyes.
"It seems a bit stupid now but okay. We are gonna get a big house with a picket fence like those old American movies you like. There'll be a porch with a porch swing and a rocking chair for when we get old." Leah cuts in.
"What about the tree house?" I shush her.
"I'm getting to that part love." Tears are burning in my eyes and my voice is wavering.
"There'll be a dog, I'm thinking a golden retriever and it would race around the fields. There is a tree with a tyre swing and a tree with a tree house that I made for the little ones. There would be a mini you, a mini me and then a mix of us. We'd live happily together until we're old and grey."
"That sounds nice." Leah whispers.
"Yeah it does, doesn't it?" Leah nods. Tears are flooding down my face and I know we haven't got long left. Leah's breathing is becoming rattled and her chest is falling shakily.
"I think it's time." Leah informs. I hold her closer.
"No it's not you can hold on a bit longer." Leah shakes her head and I can see how much effort it is for her to speak.
"I can't hold on. I'm going to turn and I need you to not hesitate." I place my hand on her hip and press my lips into her hair.
"I can't kill you love. There has to be another way." Leah groans, and throws her head back in pain.
"There is no alternative. You need to kill me." My breathing turns shakey and I'm nodding, I remember placing one final kiss on Leah's lips before holding the knife in my hand.
"Just watch the sunrise love. Everything will be over soon. We'll have that dream and live that life." Leah nods and presses her body closer to mine.
I remember the moment she turned. Her body stilled and I kept holding her, for some reason I thought she was still alive but I knew, I knew by the lack of breathing that she was gone. When she turned into one of those things her bones cracked and I swore my heart broke. Low groans escaped her mouth and she grabbed the arm situated around her waist and tried to bite me. She tried to bite me, my Leah. In any other scenario I would have let her, I would of let her turn me because I don't see a life without her. I promised her though, I promised her I would kill her. So I did.
I removed my hand from her waist and eased the knife into her head. Blood trickled from the handle and I immediately regretted it. She slumped against me and I turned her on her back, I hovered over her. Her blonde hair stained red. I ran my hands through her hair and removed the knife from her skull. A new wave of blood pooled out of her wound.
"Shit Le, I'm so sorry, baby, come back please. Fuck!" I'm desperately pressing my hands at her head to stop the flow of blood but I know she was long gone. I lift my hands from her body and stare at them, stained as red as her hair I glance down at my clothes too. Red. That's all I saw. Blood, so much of it. It was on my hands, my clothes. I lifted my hand and wiped the tears from my eyes and smeared blood straight down my face. I'm grabbing her clothes and trying anything to resuscitate her. Nothing works because she's dead. But I don't see this, all I see is my Leah, my beautiful girlfriend. I killed her. I killed the love of my life. No, she made me, she made me do it. She wanted this. But why do I still feel guilty.? We were meant to have forever together but we didn't. How do I live a life without her in it? I've known Leah for seven years and yet I can't think of my life before then. It was meaningless. I glance down at Leah's body she looks almost content and yet all I can think about is my knife in the side of her head.
I'm sobbing now, I'm inconsolable and yet I'm also calm. My head is reeling and I just want her back.
"Le, please come back." No response.
"If you love me you'd come back for me." Silence continues.
"Just come back love. What about the treehouse and the kids? What about our future?" I don't know why I expected an answer. Deep down in the remains of my heart I knew, I knew she was gone.
My hand reaches for the knife and I pick it up. Her blood glistens in the sunlight. My knuckles turn white as I hold the handle tighter. My tears stop. I start to stand when I notice the pinkie ring. I bend down and slide it off her finger. I hold it in my hand and stare, my eyes sting as I refuse to look away from it. I need to have it on me at all times. I slide the chain with my guitar pic over my head. I slide the ring onto the chain.
This is all I have of her. The love of my life. She told me she would wear the ring until she dies, I assumed that day wouldn't be for a while. I'll wear it now until I die. I sit down again and pull her body into my chest. I pull her into the original position we were in and hold her. She'd want to be held. I don't speak until they come.
I hear rushed footsteps and the rattle of the ladder as someone climbs it. Simon is the one who finds me. The smell hits him. And yet I can't smell anything. I stare straight at him and he stares back.
"You need to let her go Rory." I don't respond. He bends down and takes my arm. I shrug him off.
"No." I croak out, my voice is raw from the crying and my throat burns.
"She's gone now, you need to let her go." I don't respond and instead tighten my grip around her.
"Come back to Hillside Rory, your friends need you." I scoff.
"Leah needed someone to save her back at the Emirates and no one went but me. They can wait." My voice is stern and does not waver. He nods his head. He realises he can't talk me into leaving her. He forcefully grabs me and pulls me away from her.
"No! Ghost put me down! Leah! Stop!" He throws me over his shoulder and I'm fighting and kicking but it's no use. I'm exhausted, he effortlessly carries me down the ladder and sets me on the ground. I scramble to go passed him but he tugs me back by the waist.
"Let me go back to her Riley." Ghost's eyes burn into mine.
"No Aurora, you need sleep and food." I push against his shoulders and try to break free.
"No I need Leah. I need my Le." I break down in his arms, my breathing is erratic and I fall to the floor. A group of soldiers flood passed me and I'm desperate to stand up.
"What are they going to do to her?" I look desperately between the ladder and Simon.
"I promise you I won't let anything bad happen to her." I nod.
"She wanted to be buried." He glances at the ground and nods his head in agreement.
"Then we'll burry her." I watch as they carry her body down the ladder. I trust Simon that she will get buried and so I turn and walk away. I make it back to Hillside and the gate opens for me. I take a couple steps and then I fall to the ground but I'm caught by a pair of strong arms and a hand is placed on the small of my back. Alexia is holding me in her arms and I'm grateful that I can lean on someone. I bury my head into her neck and scramble to hold Lessi's familiar hand.
"Shh darling we've got you." I squeeze Alessia's hand in response.
"Bonita you are so brave, I'm proud of you. Your strength do it what she wanted is unfathomable." My tears are leaking onto Alexia's neck. I don't remember anything after that. I passed out but I have a hazy recollection of Alexia carrying me in her arms and into a building. Alessia turning on the shower and hot water spraying on me. I remember her trying to take the chain off of me but my hand wrapping itself around her wrist. She helped me out of my clothes and gently washed me, whispering words into my ear to distract me. She changed me and cuddled me to sleep. I had her in my arms at one point. I traced her arm with my hand like the countless times with Leah and I fell asleep to the feeling of a body in my arms.
The next morning I awoke before Less rose from her slumber. I momentarily forgot myself. I ran my hand through the blonde of her hair and thought it was Leah's. I pulled her closer into me and she pulled my hand further around her waist. I placed a gentle kiss to the side of her head before realising this wasn't Leah. I turn on my side and hover over this mysterious blonde. Alessia. Of course it wasn't Leah, I killed her yesterday. I hurriedly changed into the clothes set out for me by I assume either Less or Alexia. A pair of camo trousers and a grey cropped vest top. My weapons bag was placed beside the clothes and so I strap my throwing knife belt around my waist and slot all my knives into their places, I notice the pocket knife situated in the bundle of clothes from yesterday, I walk towards it and pick it up, the handle is stained with blood but the blade is clean, I slide it into my trouser pocket. I attach the gun holster to my thigh since I have no room around my waist and slide my pistol into the holster and decide it was enough.
I push the rest of the weapons under the bed and slip out of the room undetected. Army boots are lying at the door for me but I bypass them and head for the kitchen. I scramble for a piece of paper and a pen or pencil and once I find it I scrawl a quick note and pin it to the fridge.
To whoever finds this first,
I'm sorry but you are too late, quite like I was too late to save Leah. If you are looking for me I am at her grave but if I'm successful then it might be best if you don't go looking for me. It's too hard living a life without her in it and so I chose not to live one. It isn't because I'm afraid of this new world it's more so that I'm indifferent. I don't care and that's what makes me dangerous not just for myself but also for others. So I chose to opt out.
Thank you for everything,
Rory x

I leave the note on the fridge and grab the shoes from the front door. I slip them on, take one look up the stairs and then make a swift exit out of the front door. As I am walking through the camp I notice a number of pity glances from friends. Looks like news travels fast in here. I'm making my way towards the military base when I am stopped by Maria Leon.
"Rory?" She asks in disbelief. My back is facing her so I plaster a fake smile and turn around.
"Hey Maria," I approach her and pull her into a hug.
"How you holding up?" I'm shocked by the openness of Mapi and so I take a little time to answer.
"I feel like shit Mapi if I'm being honest. I lost the love of my life yesterday and now I have to picture a future without her in it." Mapi is caught off guard by my bluntness and nods her head.
"If you need anything Rory, I live just across from you with Alexia." I press my lips together and give an uneasy smile. I turn and walk away but I am stopped by a small body tossing their arms around my legs.
"RoRo!" I glance down and let a small smile slip.
"Harps!" I pick her up and carry her on my hip.
"Where's your mum?" She points to the house about a street down from mine. I begin my walk towards the house and by the time I reach the front door a distraught Katrina Gorry is pacing the lane of her house.
"Oh thank God you found her Rory." I nod my head and set Harper on the ground, I tap my finger on her head and crouch down. She looks slightly up to me and I give her a soft glance.
"Harps I need you to listen to what your mom tells you okay? The world is a little different than it was yesterday and I know your mom would want you to stay safe. So how about you play in your garden for today just until we can see how safe here is okay?" Harper lets out a small okay and leaps into my arms. I hold her close and she wraps her little legs around my waist again. I walk over to Mini and hand Harper over.
"Thank you Rory, for everything." I'm startled by her statement.
"What do you mean?" I raise an inquisitive eyebrow and she gestures to Harper first and then all around us.
"You gave us a safe place to call home and you protected my little girl." I blush slightly at her comment and I tuck my hands into my pocket, I feel the cool metal of my pocket knife and any emotion I was feeling drains from me. I can't let Harper or any of my friends cloud my judgement.
"I never set this place up I was given the coordinates and I never stopped anything from hurting Harper, you did. When I handed Harper to you in the stadium you were the one who carried her passed all the walkers. You got her to the bus and you protected her from those things, not me." Mini glances at me and realisation floods her face.
"You can't seriously think you didn't save everyone in that bus? We had nowhere to go, we would have died. You gave us this place and now we are safe. So thank you." I nod once to save time. I turn on my heels and little Harper calls out for me.
"RoRo do you want to come over later and play footy?" I clench my eyes shut.  How do I say no to a little kid and the reason is because I'm going to blow my brains out? I trace the outline of the pocket knife.
"I have a lot of catching up to do kid but if I have time later I'll swing by." This satisfies her and she shouts a loud bye. I glance back and Harper is waving her hand enthusiasticly and I can feel her innocence leaking from her.
I give a small salute to Mini and she chuckles lightly.
I walk back to the military base and enter the control room. Simon glances at my approaching figure.
"What you doing here kid? I thought you were getting some rest." I look down at the map he was studying.
"I got rest and now I want to visit Leah's grave. What's this all about?" Simon nods his head and his eyes stare at the pistol in my holster.
"Leah's grave is near the big tree beside the watch tower. This map is possible places to loot and blindspots that a herd could weaken us from." I study the map closer.
"How safe are we actually Ghost?" He furrows his eyebrows.
"A lot safer than out there. We have sustainable food sources, clean water, sewage system and electricity. I say we could see out the rest of our lives and definitely a couple of future generations as long as nothing serious happens." I nod, I go to leave and my back is facing Simon when a walkie is tossed in my direction. Still facing away from Ghost I catch it one handed. I peer at it before turning around.
"We use this to communicate with eachother and the sister locations. We are Channel 40 and our collective call sign is taskforce 141. You'll need your own call sign for missions and patrols." I hum in thought.
"You got any ideas?" I ask. Ghost momentarily stays silent.
"How about Phoenix? You are born from fire and rose from the ashes, kid." I glance down before nodding a couple of times.
"Phoenix it is then." Simon writes it down on a sheet of paper with my name beside it. I go to leave and he stops me again.
"Don't do anything stupid kid. We need you here. Your friends need you here." I scoff and turn around.
"When have I ever done anything stupid?" I playfully throw back.
"All the time Rory. All the fucking time." I let out a genuine laugh before stopping myself. I clip the walkie to my other thigh and walk out.
I get to the gate and press the button to open it. I look behind me once as a final goodbye and notice a glimpse of Leah waving at me, it was a sign. The smile on her face was genuine and tears prick at the corners of my eyes. I harden my resolve and walk out the gate.