I Fell From The Dark

8

The stars hung around her, unflinching and cold. They're not twinkling because there's no atmosphere, she thought.

And I knew that. Maybe I am a planetary scientist.

'Look down,' said Pilgrim. 'That's where we're going.'

Directly below her feet was a red star, a pinpoint of crimson about as bright as a full moon. Its light was steady and baleful. Then to its left, another star, nearly as bright, but yellow.

'Which one?'

'The red one, which is a dwarf called Halliman's Star. The yellow one is actually a binary pair, called Dido and Aeneas, and they're brighter, but also a lot further away. Halliman orbits them, although at a huge distance. Then, spinning around Halliman there's a planet called Misenus, and Misenus has a single moon, called Victoria, and that's our destination. We'll be the first ship to ever go here. We're actually the furthest from Earth that anyone has ever been.'

'This is amazing. Although... it's not what you promised to show me. I wanted to see what I look like.'

'Of course! I'm so sorry. I get carried away with the view, and I forgot what we were here for. It's so wonderful to look at, isn't it?'

'Yes. But, Pilgrim...'

'Hang on. There.'

A movement caught her in the corner of her eye, and she turned her chair to see a woman, sitting in an acceleration couch.

'That's me?'

'Yes!'

She was lean and strong and young, maybe in her mid twenties. Her skin was a pale but warm brown; her hair was short, straight and black. As Mia leaned forward, her doppelgänger did the same, and she was face-to-face with herself. Her irises were so dark that she thought that they were black, but then she realised that it was just because of the contrast with the light that glittered in them, reflected from the stars and shining from her tears. The world became blurry.

She reached her hands up to wipe her eyes, and they banged on the goggles. Then she was back in the ship, Pilgrim holding the headset.

'I'm so sorry. That's why I didn't want you to see yourself, it can trigger funny emotions...'

'No, it's fine,' she lied.

That's not me, thought Mia. I don't know what I look like, but I don't think that's it. Or maybe it is, and I am so, so damaged.

She leaned back in the couch and closed her eyes, and the chair folded around her, and she tried to calm herself.

Is that me? I don't think so. Maybe? Something is so wrong, but I can't tell what...

But, something else. Pilgrim lied to me. Well, no, not quite lied. She... it? I'm not sure which. Let's say she. She tried to evade showing me what I looked like, with all that stuff about the stars. And then she claimed that she got carried away and forgot. Even people don't forget things like that. And AIs? I have no idea how she works, but I bet her memory is better than mine, otherwise, I wouldn't trust her to run a spaceship.

Now, seeing myself was a shock. She probably knew that would happen, so I can see why she wouldn't want that. But that's not the way to deal with someone who's your friend and colleague. She could have just told me that I might not recognise myself.

What else is she lying to me about? Is she also lying to me about these dreams?

'Are you OK, Mia? You've gone awfully quiet.'

She opened her eyes, looked at the robot.

'Yes, I am. I'm fine. I'm sorry... It was just a surprise. I don't know why. Thank you.'

'It's OK. Waking from the sleep that you've been in does funny things to your mind. It'll be fine soon.'

She forced a smile on her face. If she closed her eyes, she knew she would see that woman's face smiling back. Her face?

'What's next?'